It’s that time again – the time when I round up a bunch of my recent favorites from Texts from Last Night and share with you all the ones I think sound like me or someone I know.
I listed a bunch back in March that if I didn’t know better could have sworn were either sent by my friends, sisters or myself and if not, someone was texting in stuff they’d overheard us saying.
So, enjoy. And if you find one that sounds like me or a conversation between you and I, please share.
Sounds like…CKR (including me)
I hate when you make eye contact with someone because you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Apparently I called 911 every time Sean Kingston told me to.
I didn’t know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
There’s a girl in the library on myspace. She must have missed the memo.
OMG. A creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!
Rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and gave it back to them.
(ME) I think I’ve said ‘don’t judge me’ 10+ times tonight…is that a bad thing?
don’t judge me
Spotted at Kelly Concert: 10-year-old in a homemade ‘I Do Not Hook Up’ T-Shirt. Well, I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
(ME) Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though. The fight, not the board game.
I hope not. I just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating Bugles and crying because I had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when I stuck them on the ends of all my fingers
And honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN’T include the words ‘creeped him on Facebook’ is really not a story worth sharing.
Besides. I’m not in my 30s. I’m still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Why is it impossible to run with a backpack without looking like a giant d-bag?
– Haha you just gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says ‘Make sure your glasses and weave are secure.’
LOST is over. My longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Is it weird that I have contacts who I’ve classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
– Haha no it’s called college.
I forgot beer had calories.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He just said ‘what’s the haps.’ I don’t know what the haps are but there goes his chances.
(ME) I just got cut off for correcting the bartender’s grammar. I should never have accepted that editor’s position.
Mind blown. Apparently, it’s PRErogative, not PERrogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Now I’ll never know if Megan finds a Millionaire.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus. (Could also be from Anthony)
I am puke
I would punch a child for Taco Bell.
On a side note, I not know what a $150 cab ride looks like.
Woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was ‘I make hot dog in toasTer.’
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed. With all the lights on. And ketchup all over.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
Sounds like…Anthony or Rachel
Just so you know, coffee creamer + water does not = milk.
Haha I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while texting. Bahahahahaha
A donut and a mojito for breakfast…Hellooooo Derby Weekend!
You don’t seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch Space Jam right now.
I feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
In case you haven’t found it already in honor of Toy Story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just had a dream that I could control how black Will Smith was with a remote. I need to stop sleeping with the TV on.
I just single-handedly caused Ferngully by printing the wrong 900-page document.