In the Room Where It Happened OR 59 thoughts I had while seeing Hamilton on stage in Chicago

Note: Gifs are from Original Broadway Cast version in New York.

1. Why are my hands shaking? I’m not performing.

2. I’m SO FUCKING EXCITED.

3. What if one of them has a sub-par voice? I’ve been spoiled by the original Broadway cast recording.

4. Wonder if they’ll have a female Burr or Hamilton ever… I could totally do either part.

5. Don’t sing along, don’t sing along…

6. What’s your name, man??! ALEXANDER HAMILTON.

7. OMG OMG OMG OMG.

8. Lin-Manuel Miranda is a fucking genius.

9. Low-key have a crush on this Hamilton.

10. They need more people in the company I think. Katie and I should go volunteer at intermission.

11. Oh, yeah, I couldn’t dance like that though, so if that’s a requirement…

12. This King George is pretty great.

13. George Washington!!!!!! I think I wanna read a biography about him now.

14. True Life: Hamilton made me more interested in American history.

15. The conundrum of me listening to/daydreaming about being in this show. Do I play Eliza or Angelica?

16. Got-dang, this song (Satisfied) gets you right in the feels.

17. She’s giving up her happiness for her sister’s. She loves her sister. I’m crying. I have sisters. I LOVE MY SISTERS.

18. This is so much better than just listening to the cast recordinggggggg.

19. Wait For It. I think I feel bad for Aaron Burr.

20. This song might make me cry too. I don’t know. I’m just really emotional about being here, y’all.

21. When I do concerts in my car I KILL IT with this song.

22. So this part in the recording always gives me goosebumps, when Hamilton and Washington are arguing……. oh, yep, THERE THEY ARE.

23. My God, I am a nerd with this shit. Sorry not sorry.

24. Stop singing along.

25. Must also stop smiling… my cheeks hurt and my face will be stuck this way at the rate we’re going.

26. BUT IT’S SO GOOD.

27. Is it too late to start a second career in theatre?

28. How do I get into the cast of this show?

29. Maybe I could just do their social media…who do I talk to about that?

30. Dude in front of us just got up for the third time for a bathroom break – HOW CAN YOU LEAVE THIS?!

31. Oh shit, Nonstop. My other great car concert performance piece.

32. Intermission? Already? How is it already halfway over? It seems so much longer when you listen to the cast album multiple times in a row!

33. OK, I changed my mind, if they had women taking these parts I’d be Jefferson. He’s having the most fun.

34. He also gets the most reactions from the audience…interesting.

35. OK we’re to the Cabinet Battle. I wish I could freestyle rap. Just once I want to go up to someone, rap some insane verse I just came up with off the top of my head and drop the mic and leave.

36. Who am I kidding – I just want to be able to drop the mic one time. On, like, anything.

37. Did. he. just. do. the. Carlton. dance. YES.

38. OK we should be real mad at AHam in this song but it’s a good song. And I’m low-key jealous of the girl playing Maria Reynolds. Katie is too.

39. Room Where It Happens – this is what I’ve been waiting for. Don’t disappoint me, Chicago Burr.

40. This song is about FOMO. I know that feeling. I feel like I kinda have it for being a part of this show somehow. Does that make sense…

41. This is the best song in the show. Don’t @ me.

42. This is living up to all of my expectations and more omggggggggggg.

43. CLICK BOOM. (It took everything I have not to shout that just now…)

44. France.

45. May or may not now be obsessed with George Washington. He’s so fucking good. One Last Time gets you right in the feels. I feel like we should all be saluting him right now.

46. Shit’s about to get real bad. Where’s the handful of Kleenex I brought?

47. Secondhand embarrassment for Hamilton telling everyone in the country about his affair and thinking that was doing the right thing. Yeesh.

48. Burn that shit, Eliza. But also – um, hi, stage people? How do we make sure that doesn’t all catch on fire because it’s looking precarious AF.

49. Yep, crying. And also still slightly worried about the fire in the bucket on stage.

50. Stay Alive Reprise/It’s Quiet Uptown – I am realizing I did not bring enough Kleenex. #feels

51. Can we get back to politics? PLEASE. I feel you, Jefferson.

52. I’m obsessed with this Jefferson. Christopher Lee, you the real MVP of this show.

53. Your Obedient Servant is highly underrated. And, I wish my name was cool enough to be abbreviated like A.Ham. It’s L.Hag. HAG. NO.

54. NO, don’t go, Alex! Stay home!

55. So this kills me. Nobody gets a happy ending in this thing, really. Hamilton? Dead. Burr? Only remembered for killing Hamilton. Sucks all around. I think about this musical far more than I probably should. Nerd. #nolife

56. Chills. Chills. Chills.

57. Oh damn, ok. I didn’t realize that’s how it would end. You got me, Eliza.

58. HOW IS IT ALREADY OVER?!?!!

59. Um, yeah. When can I see this again?

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Sounds familiar

This is the final entry in a long-running series – texts from textsfromlastnight.com that sound like they should/could be from my friends. We’ve had a good run, but I think it’s time I move on to other fun features for you guys.

So, please enjoy.

(609): I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.

(612): In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed

(703): Sexting is killing my work productivity but it’s okay because I’m self-employed

(650): Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.

(+44): I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT

(408): Every person I’ve ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.

(774): Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum…. I’m LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.

(571): He’s nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you’re. I win.

(513): And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I’m supposed to be awake now.

(215): I convinced her that there were two p’s in Chipotle – the 2nd one was silent.

(773): Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago

(709): So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today….. at work.

(608): I’m still home, my life isn’t together. Currently drying my pants

(859): Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you

(708): THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS

(810): The power of my boobs compel you

(828): I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it

(321): A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever

(617): You just get me

(443): I’m the wind beneath your wings, bitch

(505): We’re too hungover to prance.

(305): I’m sad about how hungover I’m gonna feel tomorrow.

(403): Clearly you’ve confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.

(989): I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.

(508): I’m currently deliberating if I’m going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.

(734): Margaritas just taste better when they’re bigger than your head

(812): Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone

847): He’s interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us

(208): He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive 

(315): Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots

(612): A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.

(484): dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread

(847): I can’t open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchat filter

(256): Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I’m a fucking lady.

(720): I’m torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers

49 thoughts I have had while at the gym

Can I just say, it’s amazing how much more motivation you have when you quit a job you hate and actually want to get out of bed in the morning again.

Two days after I left that job, I was a member at a gym up the road from my house: Planet Fitness, which I refer to as the gym for people who hate going to gyms. I say that, I think, because the only mirrors in that place are in the bathroom. That’s what it takes for me to like a gym. It’s bad enough I can see what I look like when I’m running and mouth-breathing in the reflection of the TV, I don’t need a mirror too.

Anyways. I go at least 3 times a week and I’ve made some observations during my time there, which I’ll share with you in list form below in a bit of stream-of-consciousness. Read at your own risk.

1. That man is riding the stationary bike in jeans. God bless him, that can’t be comfortable.
2. I should turn the TV on, even though I’m watching Netflix on my Kindle. No need to see what I look like whilst running.
3. This is the fourth time I’ve started Couch to 5K. Maybe fourth time’s the charm?
4. I cannot come in last at the 5K Sara is doing before her wedding and I’ve committed to because then I am the lazy bridesmaid.
5. Really? 40 other treadmills open and you choose the one beside me, lady having a loud cell phone conversation while she walks?
6. Thank God for Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. It makes me pay absolutely no attention to how long I have been running.
7. Peeno Noir. Midsize Car. Caviar.
8. Did all the other people around me just hear me LOL at this show?
9. I want to start a fundraiser for getting these old men workout clothes. This guy’s wearing khakis!
10. Why does your stomach feel weird when you run?
11. My biggest fear is a fart while running. Also a fart during yoga, but good thing I don’t do yoga, except for that one time.
12. My workout pants are falling down while I run. New biggest fear: Showing ass at the gym.
13. Titus Andromedon is my spirit animal.
14. I need to double up on sports bras when I run.
15. I seriously fought with myself over coming today and why? I’m always glad to be working out when I’m actually here.
16. Could I fit a treadmill somewhere in my condo? Would it make the downstairs neighbors hate me?
17. I am sweating from every pore in my body right now.
18. Week 5 is not as scary as I remember it being last time.. #progress
19. *looks longingly at stair-stepper machine* One day, I will not be afraid to try you out.
20. I could do the star-stepper today.
21. Better not.
22. I’m coming for you, stair-stepper.
23. Arm machines. Let me just move the pin from where the previous user did 110 pounds….down to….30.
24. Ooh this machine makes you basically stare at someone’s stomach while they’re on the elliptical. That’s not awkward at all.
25. My boobs are smooshed by it too, cool.
26. Let’s try 40 pounds on this one.
27. This machine isn’t too bad.
28. Tomorrow my arms will be like jellyfish tentacles flailing about.
29. This leg machine looks easy enough. Let’s do like 60 pounds on this one.
30. Holy shit I broke my butt.
31. I can’t walk now.
32. Back machine – I can do 110 pounds on this one, so suck it heavy-lifters.
33. Ludacris Pandora is distracting me from counting my reps because it’s so damn good. Every. Single. Song!
34. I need to invest in workout attire with some sort of pockets.
35. Will boob sweat damage my iPhone?
36. Another arm machine that smooshes the boobs. Whyyyyyy?
37. Just realized I was singing Eminem out loud. Whoops.
38. I’ve been coming here for two months. Why are my arms still this weak?
39. I should do kickboxing.
40. I don’t have the money to do kickboxing.
41. I know nothing about kickboxing either. Do you kick and punch?
42. “I like to kick. And stretch. And kick.”
43. I have 8 SNL episodes on my DVR. Should get on that.
44. Oooh and like 4 episodes of Dateline.
45. I guess I’m done. I think? I feel good, but sweaty, but good.
46. When I have more money I’m upgrading so I can use the massage tables.
47. That’s a genius idea to have those here.
48. Sometimes I just want to sit in that chair at the entrance shaped like a hand and welcome people.
49. I need all the showers.

31 thoughts one has whilst their AC is on the fritz

1. It’s kind of hot in here.

2. Yeah, I’m sweating.

3. It’s kind of like a sauna.

4. THE THERMOSTAT SAYS 84.

5. I did not set it on 84.

6. Lemme just turn it way, way down, that should work, right?

7. (Hour later) Nope. Not working.

8. The good thing about home ownership and living by yourself, you can walk around your place naked or close to it.

9. I really need to get curtains for my living room.

10. How many more nights can I go sleeping whilst sweating?

11. Like, I sweat in my sleep even when the AC isn’t messed up.

12. Sleeping naked isn’t bad though.

13. This condo is now a sweat lodge.

14. I think I just hallucinated.

15. One should not have to reapply deodorant in their house this much.

16. Oh, it went down to 83, that’s good.

17. Nope, back up to 84.

18. Maybe if I sit really still it won’t be so bad.

19. You can sweat even when you’re not moving.

20. I’ve drunk (drank?) all the water.

21. Why does drank sound like it’s not a word right now?

22. Maybe I’m still hallucinating.

23. Well there’s a big chunk of ice on the AC unit, so the air is going somewhere.

24. Let me just message my HVAC pro friends.

25. Yeah something’s officially wrong with the AC that no amount of turning up or down can fix.

26. Payday is Friday.

27. I might be delirious/a puddle on the floor by then.

28. I could just stand in front of the open freezer door a while.

29. Or go outside.

30. Nope, definitely the same temperature outside as in.

31. Time to text Chuck.

#TBT: A bit of a quiet year

In an ideal world, one where I had loads of free time and keeping this blog up and running was my full-time (or at least part-time) job, I’d have posted a lot more this year. It wasn’t for lack of trying, or lack of things happening to write about. In fact it was the opposite. There was too much of that. And no taking advantage of what downtime I did have to get some stuff written and scheduled to post, because that’s a ton easier (behind the scenes of blog world, guys).

This past week, my lil’ blog baby turned six. SIX! Cannot believe it was that many years ago I decided to start writing on this thing with some sort of regularity.

I’m going to keep it up of course, because the eventual hope (don’t tell anyone) is that I someday write a book. And this is a good start for it, plus all the best bloggers end up with a book or two. So it’s bound to happen.

Usually I pick a bunch of my favorite posts from the past year. This year, because six years, I’m picking six.

In no particular order, and in honor of Throwback Thursday, too, here are my six favorites of the stuff I posted this year.

1. That time I wrote down everything my friends said while they watched Magic Mike (and they didn’t know I was doing it).

2. When I got lil’ Charles

3. Turning 30, with a bang (and a sore ear)

4. Saying goodbye to Grandma

5. Lies my brain told me

6. #haganstakenewyork

On deck for lucky year 7? SO much, you guys, most of which is conveniently kicking off right around my birthday. I can’t wait to tell you about it, check back soon!

A few more of my favorite things

Last few months have been busy. But I’ve seen some awesome stuff here and there that y’all should see.

Guys solve girls’ problems:

Q: “Painfully tight bra straps?”

A:Put sponges under them, like those things you put on car safety belts.”

Q: “There’s a weird gap between my bra and my boobs.”

A: “Again, I feel like paper towel or sponge could solve this problem.”

When I have children I will possibly buy this audio book and this one of course:

Think I want to print/buy the one for my kitchen that says “Are you cooking a frittata in a saucepan? What is this? Prison?” 

I basically love anything Kevin Spacey says or does at this point..

This. Just…this. We have to take mental health seriously. It’s so important.

I miss Breaking Bad so muuuuch.

Current/recent/near future mood:

Screen Shot 2015-03-04 at 8.25.35 PM

I want to adopt all of these dogs and to take pictures of puppies all the time.

You can totally get this for me for my birthday. I won’t be mad.

Berrie_GraphiteCameraDrawings_1000_ff420b6e-e4e9-4a86-9bbf-ef14cd19870a_1024x1024

Friggin’ brilliant.

Hearing “Stop thinking about it” when you have anxiety is like being told not to breathe. Works for about 3 seconds and then you have to because it’s all there is and there’s no way around it.

I would invest in like 89 percent of these ideas.

A thousand times yes.

findoutwhatyoulikedoingbest2c0aandgetsomeonetopayyouforit0a0a0a28like29-default-480x480

#writinggoals

90s dramatic television FTW..

This is currently fighting for first place with the video of the old ladies smoking weed for favorite recent video.

Sounds familiar

As I’ve said before – my Game Night Bitchezzz and I have a GroupMe thread that’s been going on basically forever and it’s the best thing to happen to all of us, ever.

The conversations that go on in there I couldn’t explain if I tried, and I love that. They range in topic by the text, just about, and I laugh out loud reading them constantly.

The texts below aren’t from the GroupMe because what happens in there stays there, but they’re close. Some of them a little TOO close. The texts below are the ones from textsfromlastnight.com that sound like my friends. I’ve shared those a few times with you at this point..

And here are the latest. Enjoy.

(+61): only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece.

(570): Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with “I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me”.

(515): Can’t a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?

(540): I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don’t have to leave my bed all day.

(773): please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.

(403): Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally

(661): What a dumb baby whore.

(405): She’s like the pied piper of lesbians.

(717): Fuck that.  I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.

(505): There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted “the pilgrims are here!” And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.

(604): every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water

(410): I’ve been drunk in my life. But I’ve never been “crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon” drunk

(202): there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.

(920) This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won’t throw up but I might cry.

(563) I don’t want to jinx anything but I may have found the one
(262) Cat or human?
(563) Human

(813): He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.

(303): My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because “I looked like I needed them.”

(267): Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?

(816): You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption “best friend”

(919): every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like “thanks happy birthday to you too”

(941): Thanks for coming over. I’m sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
(618):There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I’m at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
(972): If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.

(585): PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME

(+44): This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he’s licking his headphone cords.
(201): I didn’t know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji

(407): The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
(201): I didn’t know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji

(248): After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
(305):And then my night got REAL pukey

(913):Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no

(919):I’m so hungover I can’t taste anything

(217):I get a little bitchy. We all know that
(920): Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.

(864): I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.

(201): Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?

(617): you wouldn’t let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled “BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT” and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
(508): it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10

(636): I’m the Oprah of jello shots

(972): I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.

(301): You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.

(954): Cause I’ll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell “Cobra attack” and walk away

(989): I don’t want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.

A few of my favorite things

Well, there are a lot in this one. You know, three-month break and all. Because even though I wasn’t writing on the Internet, it doesn’t mean I wasn’t reading it. I’m not an animal.

First and foremost, even if you aren’t on tumblr, bookmark this one and follow it. One of the best things I’ve ever seen. Genius.

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Courtesy Flyartproductions.tumblr.com

This is the kind of writing I wanna do.

Brilliant.

Just some general advice. Also, hellogiggles is my fave.

OH JUST CHANNING TATUM.

Y’all can just go ahead and get me these for any and all future babies (Spoiler alert: Not pregnant. Yet.) Sidenote- I love Paddington Bear, OMG. Except for the new live-action version. That’s an abomination.

My bff, MONTREZL!

No seriously, we’re BFFs.

IMG_5444

THIS. OMG, THIS.

I must say I agree with most or all of this list.

Take this personality test:http://www.ipersonic.com/test.html
And see what I got.

Viva Frank Underwood, that crazy bastard. (Spoilers). P.s. Hurry up, season 3, damn!

This is how I wake up Saturday mornings..

Maybe the only time you’ll see Lewis Carroll and Kendrick Lamar paired up?

I want all of the dogs.

And all of the cakes… (my birthday is April 12, thanks).

Spot-on alternate book titles.

Slow clap, all around..

I just love him, so much. Can I please see him in concert now?

I wish I could draw

This shirt..

Screen shot 2014-07-21 at 8.09.35 PM

This summer I watched all four seasons of Game of Thrones in about 2 weeks. So I’m a wee bit obsessed.

Need to print this – but I downloaded it from a site called paperfelt. Now to find a frame.
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(sidenote – I also want to buy out paperfelt‘s Etsy shop..)

I don’t know how the powers that be at Disney haven’t made this go away by now, but I’m glad they haven’t. One of the very best accounts I follow… (it’s a parody, btw..)

Screen shot 2014-07-21 at 8.20.30 PM

Jenny Lawson is my spirit animal. Her book made me laugh harder than anything else ever has. Anxiously awaiting her second, but I understand the struggle. Especially since I haven’t started my first yet.

Amazing photography of children playing around the world. This makes my heart happy.

I need this framed, as well. And on a T-shirt, maybe.

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Faves on faves

This past year was a light one on posting. Well, 2013 was I mean. I think from January 2014 to now, I’ve posted more than I posted in the entirety of the last calendar year.

Why? Because life. I dunno. But I’m glad to be getting back to (semi-)regularity.

In honor of five years today (had you heard about how I’ve had this blog for five years? Have I driven it into your brain enough?) I picked out my five favorite posts from the last year. In no particular order, I’ve listed (and linked) ’em below.

A little less medicated: Wherein I start going off of my anxiety meds. Jesus take the wheel.

• New Year’s Eve Mystery – The Case: AKA Best New Year’s Eve Of My Life

Wherein I am either the worst chaperone or the best one: That time I got a tattoo while chaperoning a church trip.

• You can take the girl outta Kentucky, but you can’t take the Kentucky outta the girl: Otherwise known as when I got to tell Travis Tritt my parents’ (and mine and several others’) favorite story about my whole childhood.

• Self-esteem boosters with Sarah: The one that started it all.

Somethin’ to talk about

OK, so the other day I got really obsessed with my stats and managed to find the ones that had gotten the most reads in the past five years. And oddly enough, the moth one was the winner. Ugh, moths. I just gagged.

Anyways. Another thing I found in my stats search was the top most-commented-on blogs in the past five years. (Shout-out to Jennifer for being the number one – and number three – commenter. BFF.) I was a little less surprised at these, compared to the ones from the most-read list. Seems you all had a lot of thoughts on online dating and helping me decide whether or not to put a life-size poster of Robert Downey Jr. above my bed (which still might happen one day, by the way).

Here they are, though, the five most-commented-on blogs in the past five years:

5. Momma said…

I was asked by my daughter to write a little something this week for Mother’s Day. My daughter is Laura, one of the reporters for this paper. I think she is very good at what she does, of course. That being said, please don’t judge me on what I am about to write.

4. Remembering the end of an era

Harry Potter has been over for a while now. No new books, no new movies. I refuse to accept it.

3. I came, I saw, I winked. And then I moved on.

It was a month when my insomnia came back full-force, when my anxiety moved from threat level yellow (where it stays most of the time) to red-orange or orange-red or whatever that crayon color is. It was a month when I had paid $35 and all I was getting for my money was added stress. And that’s something I definitely don’t need.

2. Getting all crafty up in this piece

Thanks to a well-timed Groupon and a week I didn’t have to buy groceries, I splurged on two canvas prints from a Web site. The pictures I chose for the canvas-izing – yeah I made that word up, so what – are my two favorites from the trip. And there’s a third in the running.

1. Hurry up and wait

So maybe the first couple nights I was a little slutty with the winking (it’s a feature where you basically send people a “wink” whose profile you liked). Aaaaaand nothing has come of it.

And of course there’s an honorable mention for this one, too..because it was tied for number of comments with the one my momma wrote. It was the very first “Sounds familiar,” from WAAAAY back in November of 2009.

Sounds like…CKR (including me)
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
Pledge alligien to american to united states of america.