A Book on Dating

I’ve tossed around a couple book ideas off and on in the past couple of years, and I really want to write one of essays just about my life because I’m funny and interesting shit occasionally happens to me. The other one is most definitely going to be about dating. I mentioned it in a post last week.

In the last year or so, especially, a couple of my friends and I have realized we have plenty of material for that one with our varied experiences.

That said, here is a sampling of our chapter titles for the book we will get around to co-authoring… I’ll let you know when the preorder is available on Amazon.

– Why long distance relationships are often a bad idea OR the time I got that tattoo

– So you’ve been cheated on OR I’m going to burn your house down, (redacted)

– Don’t date your coworkers or if you do, make sure they’re not idiots and on prescription drugs

– Things you do not ask/say on a first date (LIST)

– Does that approach actually work for you?

– No I do not like dragons

– Those we’ve and lost (and by loved we mean just used for sex)

– When you just dont give AF (making out with people you haven’t spoken to at the bar)

– An open letter to all the guys I’ve made out with who’ve since come out as gay

– Why I should have destroyed the bike and other regrets from an almost marriage

– Why not to study abroad with your ex

I’m sorry about the time I was talking shit and didn’t realize I had called you and you heard everything.

– M&Ms with your face on them and other signs you should call the police

– No I will not fuck you with a strap-on on and other dealbreakers

– 50 Shades of Grey’s popularity does not mean we are all into BDSM and other myths

– “Are you my mother?” “No, I’m Fucking Not”

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Four score and seven years ago…

slice of seventh birthday cake

Fun fact: I don’t even like cake.

…this little blog came about. Or something like that. Doesn’t four score mean 40 years? ‘Cause that’s not technically right. But it sounded good…

Anyway. Seven years ago – in 2009 – I started a blog. It was my third or fourth attempt at one – I had a blogspot in college, a blog on myspace and one for work. None stuck.

One would argue this didn’t either, completely, as it has been almost 7 months since I wrote a post.

Sensing a theme here? 7 is my lucky number, though. Born at 7:07, weighed 7 lbs. 7 oz., dad’s the oldest of 7 kids, I was the 7th granddaughter on my mom’s side, if you add up my birthdate (w/out the year) it equals 7…. you get the picture.

So maybe 7 will be a lucky year in terms of blogging. Probably the year I get a book deal, right? Isn’t that how this blogging thing works?

I will say I’ve missed writing. A lot. So I promised myself to get back to it. And now’s a good a time as any, right?

I do have a couple favorite posts from the year to share, as per usual, and you should take a look at the very first birthday of the blog, awww.

Oh and like a ton of posts lined up and scheduled for the foreseeable future. Because I’m prepared like that.

See? 7 IS lucky.

Now for the stuff I actually liked that I wrote last year…

180: https://on-account-of.com/2015/08/25/one-hundred-and-eighty/

More tinder bullshit: https://on-account-of.com/2015/07/08/the-tinder-chronicles-pt-2/

The day it all changed: https://on-account-of.com/2015/06/03/on-hold/

Saying goodbye, a little late

In March, some very bad things happened. My grandma, who suffered from Alzheimer’s for years, took a quick turn for the worst and, after missing my grandfather for the past two and a half years, she was finally able to go and find him.

The very hour we came home from her funeral, we got word of another impending loss – our dog Lucy, who was 10 years old and had seemed fine until the week Grandma died – was sick and wasn’t going to get any better. So, tears not yet dry on our cheeks from Grandma’s service, we went to the vet to say goodbye to our sweet Lucy girl.

I’ve written posts about both of them in my head countless times, but couldn’t bring myself to put them down on paper or on the screen for the longest time. But now I have.

I plan to share some words about them both on this blog soon, because the one thing that makes me feel better about being without loved ones is to remember them, to write about them, to think of a time when things were better and be happy and smile and not just think about how they’re gone from my every day life. Because for as long as I have the memories, they’re not.

Pets are like family, and anyone who says different is lying. That day and so many days following it, when we said goodbye to my grandmother and also to the pet we’d had for so many years, were a fog.

I don’t know that we’re even – I’m even – completely out of it yet. There have been too many reminders.

I think I’ve been afraid to write about any of it – afraid I won’t do justice. Afraid it will hurt too much to bring everything back up. But at the same time I need it. I need the release of letting my feelings out through my fingertips.

And soon I will share them with you. Soon.

A few of my favorite things

Well, there are a lot in this one. You know, three-month break and all. Because even though I wasn’t writing on the Internet, it doesn’t mean I wasn’t reading it. I’m not an animal.

First and foremost, even if you aren’t on tumblr, bookmark this one and follow it. One of the best things I’ve ever seen. Genius.

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Courtesy Flyartproductions.tumblr.com

This is the kind of writing I wanna do.

Brilliant.

Just some general advice. Also, hellogiggles is my fave.

OH JUST CHANNING TATUM.

Y’all can just go ahead and get me these for any and all future babies (Spoiler alert: Not pregnant. Yet.) Sidenote- I love Paddington Bear, OMG. Except for the new live-action version. That’s an abomination.

My bff, MONTREZL!

No seriously, we’re BFFs.

IMG_5444

THIS. OMG, THIS.

I must say I agree with most or all of this list.

Take this personality test:http://www.ipersonic.com/test.html
And see what I got.

Viva Frank Underwood, that crazy bastard. (Spoilers). P.s. Hurry up, season 3, damn!

This is how I wake up Saturday mornings..

Maybe the only time you’ll see Lewis Carroll and Kendrick Lamar paired up?

I want all of the dogs.

And all of the cakes… (my birthday is April 12, thanks).

Spot-on alternate book titles.

Slow clap, all around..

I just love him, so much. Can I please see him in concert now?

I wish I could draw

This shirt..

Screen shot 2014-07-21 at 8.09.35 PM

This summer I watched all four seasons of Game of Thrones in about 2 weeks. So I’m a wee bit obsessed.

Need to print this – but I downloaded it from a site called paperfelt. Now to find a frame.
Screen shot 2014-07-27 at 11.44.58 PM
(sidenote – I also want to buy out paperfelt‘s Etsy shop..)

I don’t know how the powers that be at Disney haven’t made this go away by now, but I’m glad they haven’t. One of the very best accounts I follow… (it’s a parody, btw..)

Screen shot 2014-07-21 at 8.20.30 PM

Jenny Lawson is my spirit animal. Her book made me laugh harder than anything else ever has. Anxiously awaiting her second, but I understand the struggle. Especially since I haven’t started my first yet.

Amazing photography of children playing around the world. This makes my heart happy.

I need this framed, as well. And on a T-shirt, maybe.

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Best laid plans and whatnot

I had these plans, you see. I wanted to take some time and have a regular stream of stuff written for this blog (for this month, especially), because in a little over a week, it turns five. Yes. An inanimate object, a bunch of words and photos and files I put together turns five years old March 30. 

May not mean a lot to you, but for someone who doesn’t know who she is if she can’t write, that’s a big deal. That’s a commitment. That it has kept going – kept me going – and people have read and laughed and cried and loved along with me, well, that’s really important.

So to celebrate I wanted to have post after post ready to go, to tell you all sorts of things and show you some great pictures and keep up some of these features I do that have become a habit on here.

All of this may sound trivial, but it’s not, to me. I need to write. I need it like I need water or air. I need that creative outlet and that place to put down all of the thoughts and feelings and stories I have when I can’t – or don’t want to – say them out loud.

That said, these past two weeks have dealt two major blows in my life – last week, actually. This week, I’m still reeling. Letting things sink in.

There are things I want to write about – I need to write about. They’re serious things. Important things. But I’m not ready, yet. I can’t, yet. I want to keep distracting myself with other things, share my pictures from my recent trip to Boston and NYC, where my sisters and I collectively celebrated our birthdays and were able to be together after our hearts had been hurt so badly last week.

I can’t wait to tell you about those trips. I can’t wait to tell you about two very important parts of my life that I’ve had to deal with losing  in the past week and am still just starting to process. I can’t wait to celebrate having kept this sort-of time capsule-y thing, this look into my mind and heart and life for the past five years.

Soon. Very soon. 

New year, new plans, new all kinds of stuff

So for my first post of the New Year, I wanted to motivate myself. Thus, the reason it was my past year in review (when it comes to blogging).

It was pretty sad. I posted a lot that I’m really happy with, but looking back, it averages out to less than once a week! Unacceptable.

Therefore, one of the resolutions on my list of them for 2014, is to write more. I feel like I say that a lot, but really, I mean it this time. I find myself missing it, more and more, wishing I had the time to sit down and let the creativity out but then finding whatever (usually silly) reason not to.

So here’s a promise in writing to give you lots more to read this year (or look at, ’cause that photography thing’s getting to be a lot of fun).

I’m also hoping to start a “Photo of the Week” posted every week to help on two fronts: It will keep me posting regularly and taking pictures more often, instead of just when I’ve been hired to.

I said I had a list of resolutions and I wasn’t kidding. I’m sure you’ll gradually hear about them as I work to accomplish them, but in general, this year they are about putting myself first, in all aspects. I will do what makes me happy, I will do what’s best for me, I will take better care of myself: mentally, physically, emotionally, all of the -lys.

And it starts today. Clean slate. 2014.

Let’s do this.

Dusting off the cobwebs

So I took a blog sabbatical. It was accidental at first, and then it became intentional.

I have been away from this blog for almost five months. And I’ve missed it, and been yelled at by a couple people for its neglect, but you guys, I needed that time.

I also wanted to wait until I had a big bunch of posts ready, too, because there’s been a few times when I’ve gone away and come back and promised to reward you with a lot of fun stuff to read for sticking around and then…nothing.

Rest assured this is not one of those times. I’m writing this with a BUNCH of other posts already written and ready to go, and scheduled to post in the next few days/weeks.

So. Yay!

I’m not going to tell you ahead of time what they’re about, but remember how I said I needed this time off? It was to do a lot of the stuff you’re about to read about/see pictures of… which brings us to our next announcement.

You might have noticed things look a little different. I changed up the theme to reflect more of what I want this blog to be about – the pictures I have been having so much fun taking and that tell just as good of (if not much better) a story as I can writing about it.

I’ve missed writing – don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing I’d like more than to have the time to come home and work on all sorts of fun stuff and blog until my little heart is content. But I just couldn’t for a while. For all sorts of reasons.

Now, though, I am back. SWEAR.

For those who came back/never left – thanks. Please enjoy.

For those who yelled at me to post again – I’m not scared of you. But yeah..here ya go. Stop yelling.

To tide you over… here’s a little peek at some of the stuff you’ve missed, especially if you don’t follow me on all of the social medias (in which case, why the f not?).
pictures

That’s a lot o’ words, yo

I have more than 500 songs on my iPhone/iPod. I’m only embarrassed about like, two of them.

My eye has twitched about 500 times this week alone.

Somewhat related (on account of he’s in a movie called 500 Days of Summer), I also loved this:

At this point you are either so happy that I’ve just shared a glorious gif of Joseph Gordon-Levitt in this post, or are super confused as to why you’re here and if this all has a point.

Of course it does.

As in, 500 posts. This is a milestone. I think. I mean, 500 is pretty cool. Or it means I talk write too much. And you’ve read some (maybe most, hopefully all) of them. So thanks for that.

Yeah, so 500 posts. 3.5 years.

And probably only like 340 of them had a curse word.

I thought a little while after I posted number 499 about doing something exciting for 500. About doing something to make it the best post ever. And then it was late and those Family Guy episodes weren’t gonna watch themselves.

So here you have it. Post #500. Landmark moment right here.

I sure do hope you’ll stick around for the next 500. You won’t be sorry. And I’ll try to curse less more.