Getting serious here for a minute

It’s not always fun and games over here at on-account-of.com, or, in my offline existence either. But you know that, I’ve talked about it plenty before and for the most part, I am an open book, take it or leave it.

That said, I want to talk about something important, something serious. And it’s about a TV show. Glee, to be exact.

Now bear with me.

Before you roll your eyes, know that for all its corniness and campiness and sometimes ridiculous storylines, it also tends to confront real-life issues in a pretty serious way.

Part of Tuesday night’s episode focused on a character who in the past three seasons of the show has struggled with his sexuality and with who he is, going from a bully to bullied himself.

And in the episode, when he could think of no other way to deal, no other way to confront what was going on in his life and around him, he attempted suicide.

This hit me hard for several reasons, not all of which I’ll share.

I work with teenagers at my church. They’re middle-schoolers and high-schoolers and they’re at a time in their lives when something you or I might see as a silly worry is the worst possible thing that could happen to them.

There have been so many stories in the news recently about teens committing suicide. Because they’re being bullied. Because they’re being mistreated by other students for being who they are and trying to be proud of it.

It scares the shit out of me to think that any of those teenagers I care about so much could one day feel like this.

And it’s even scarier that it’s something that doesn’t go away, even as you get older.

There are people in my life that have been touched by suicide in some way.

There are people who’ve thought about it and then thought again. Or reached out and somehow asked for help.

Let me make one thing clear right now though – I have never been and am not suicidal. Period.

But I do know what it’s like to feel as if nothing – not work, not school, not the situation I’m in with the guy I care about – will get better. I know what it feels like to think (even if you’re completely wrong) that no one cares. I know what it’s like to hate yourself. And it’s a lonely place.

Psychological problems are just as real and just as damaging as any physical, medical problem you can get. Often it’s worse, because you can’t just put a cast or an Ace bandage on your brain or your heart for eight or nine weeks and get all better.

I saw this episode after a particularly bad day in my personal life, but the difference there is, I knew the next day would be better. It had to be.

Some people can’t think like that. Some people don’t believe it will get better. They don’t believe it will get easier. And that breaks my heart.

One of the things in life that scares me the most is the thought that someone I care about would feel this way and not talk to me, not talk to anyone. That they would not somehow, even if they’re not saying the exact words, ask for help.

I felt so many things last night watching it all play out on the show, knowing that they were just putting a face on something that’s happening all over the place. And often to people who aren’t as lucky as the character on the show. Not everyone gets a second chance.

I make sure people in my life know that I care. I tell my family and friends I love them. Because I do love them and because I will be there to catch them when they fall and help them see that things will be OK. I no longer apologize to myself or anyone else for being who I am – that girl that wears her heart on her sleeve in person and on her blog and who also posts lots of Glee songs and videos with Muppets in them.

Bullying is a terrible thing, whether it’s someone else doing it or your own mean thoughts about yourself. I could rattle off a bunch of cliches about how there will be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and whatnot, but I won’t. I’ll simply say that you will go through things that will suck. They will suck beyond belief. But there will be good times too. And there is – or there SHOULD BE – someone(s) in your life who will make sure of it.

And if you don’t have anyone else? Well, you know right where to find me.

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Important lessons at a young age

While watching “How To Look Good Naked” in England – where at the end of the show you usually see someone naked (from the back, it’s not too crazy), we listened to Alistair’s reactions to the lady they were showing.

Alistair, 6: Ooh! Woo! Underwear!
(Lady on the show shows herself naked from the back)
Guy on TV: Brilliant!
Allyson: Alistair, do you say brilliant?
Alistair: Only when I see her naked!

He knows me too well

Me, as I’m looking at our options for Netflix instant viewing on the Wii: “Oh, hey, they have 1,000 Ways to Die on here.”
Roommate: “You don’t need to watch that.”
Me: “But I’m getting better..”
Roommate: “You are. And that’s exactly why we’re not gonna watch it.”

Tradition (just imagine me saying it like Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof)

In honor of that awesome holiday that’s only four days away, tonight my suggestions are going to revolve around some rules that I abide by and traditions I take part in during and around Thanksgiving. And if you do them too, I guarantee they’ll make the holiday even better.

1. Watch “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” the night before Thanksgiving.
My family has always watched this either on Thanksgiving or Thanksgiving Eve. It’s the only movie I’ve ever seen based around this holiday and it’s got Steve Martin and John Candy (RIP) who are both hilarious. And Kevin Bacon’s in it for a minute – so take note, anyone who ever plays Six Degrees to Kevin Bacon. Also, it’s by John Hughes, so you really can’t go wrong.

Plus there’s this scene. Which is awesome. P.s. If kids are nearby…. EARMUFFS.

2. Make green bean casserole.
It’s really cheap, really easy to make and delicious. So if you need to contribute to the dinner in some way, it’s a good idea. It’s all I can really do, I’m just sayin’.

3. Don’t put up the Christmas stuff until at least Saturday.
ONE HOLIDAY AT A TIME, PEOPLE. I can hold off watching “Home Alone,” “Christmas Vacation,” “Elf and “A Christmas Story” until my turkey’s digested properly. You can wait too.

4. Gamble.
Maybe it’s just my family, but when we all get together, usually some form of gambling or games is involved. Especially at holidays. Like Derby. Thanksgiving’s usually when we go to Churchill Downs. And lose money on horse racing for the last weekend the track is open until spring. Good times.

5. Watch the dog show that’s on after the parade.
Or don’t, I don’t care. But that’s what me and my sister and cousin will be doing. We give new names to the dogs and talk about how ugly some of them are. And decide which ones we want. And discuss how a male poodle even exists – they all look like girls.

On account of a short work week and loads more free time then usual, you’ll hear back from me more this week than last. And look for some lists – you know how I like lists – from me and some guest bloggers Thursday about what we’re thankful for. You’ll love it. Promise.

P.s. Hope you enjoyed Steve Martin and all the f-bombs. If you didn’t? Well…loosen up. It’s the holidays.

LOST. Ever heard of it?

So, unless you’ve been living under a rock, or you don’t like awesome TV, or you just haven’t gotten into it (yet), you know that the most awesome show ever, LOST, is about to premiere it’s series finale. NEXT SUNDAY. So sad. Yet so awesome. We’ll finally – hopefully – know at least kind of what it’s all about and can re-watch the whole series from a new angle.

My roommate and I are having a party, with about 15 to 20 people to watch the finale and it’s gonna be great. I made some kick-ass invitations, if I do say so myself (my friend Liz posted pictures of hers on Facebook).

Yeah…I made those. Don’t judge. They’re amazing.

The actual party, is, of course, a week from tomorrow. You’ll definitely see a post showing all the amazingness after next Sunday. And I’m not going to spill all the stuff we’ve got planned yet for our guests, but suffice it to say, it will be the best party for a TV show ever. Just wait and see.

So I Don’t Think I Can Dance

I am not a dancer. Was once upon a time, before I lost all my baby teeth and learned to write in cursive.

I am, however, a fan of dance. Which explains why I enjoy the show “So You Think You Can Dance.” If you’ve never watched it, you should. Some of the stuff they do on there is amazing and makes me wish for about an hour or two every week that I’d stuck with the whole dance thing.

My favorites are usually the big group routines, especially the Wade Robson ones..he’s awesome. The first one I’m posting is from this season and just won over the other one I’m posting (from season 2) for my favorite one ever. Just…awesome. Enjoy. And try not to get up and learn these dances in your living room, because seriously, I’m almost at that point.

Quite the conundrum

I watch a fair amount of TV, it’s safe to say. I have about four shows I watch on Monday, three on Wednesday, one on Saturday, two on Sunday and, well, a bunch on Thursday. Herein lies the issue – and why I got TiVo.

Thursday nights are now my night out, sometimes the only one I have all week. We go to karaoke Thursday nights and I’m out of the house from about 7 to 11 p.m. About 90 percent of the shows I watch come on Thursday night – which wouldn’t normally be a problem, on account of TeeV – but they are all on at the same time! What’s a girl to do?

Find re-runs. 🙂

How are you all (meaning about 3 of the 4 people that read this fairly often, haha) dealing with it? ‘Cause I know you watch several, if not all of the same stuff I do. TiVo? DVR? Hulu? Catching up later?

Seriously though – here’s the Thursday night line-up, and I’m unfortunately a fan of all of them, except for that last one. I’m just trying that one out.

The Office
Survivor
Parks & Rec
Grey’s Anatomy
Project Runway
Ace of Cakes
Flash Forward

I know, my TV addiction is somewhat sad, but it’s a good way to relax after a long day at work and not have to do much, if any, thinking. That is, until LOST comes back in January. Watching that’s like a second job, complete with take-home work to bring back next time.

Tyra is nuts.

Just a few thoughts on America’s Next Top Model – which starts tonight – which I continue to watch though almost everything about it drives me as insane as Tyra actually is. I watch it to see what they do for the photo shoots and what the pictures end up looking like. And the runway stuff is pretty cool. But that’s really it.

Some observations:
• I am fairly sure Tyra only picks people that are HUMONGOUS fans of hers. That’s the only way she can get every contestant to scream and act like an idiot every time she comes in the room.
• Why must she talk in an accent at some point every season? She’s not good at them.
• I know at the end of this episode she’ll tell them the prizes, and introduce the judges – which she will do THE ENTIRE SEASON. Why? We know already.
• Why are they called cycles and not seasons like every other TV show? Oh, ’cause Tyra’s ridiculous.
• What made Ms. J qualified to judge and teach runway walks?
• Why do they find some of the dumbest, craziest girls to be in this competition? Oh, ’cause it makes good TV.

They’ll probably not pick my favorite to be the winner. That’s how it was last season. I hate last SEASON’S winner..she annoyed the crap out of me. Whitney was good. but McKey was horrible.

And why do I watch? I don’t know. But I can’t look away. At least I can mute it every time Tyra talks. 🙂

If I had a million dollars

I’d get this:

So pretty....

So pretty....

And this:

No more Focus.

No more Focus.

And this. And I would call her Stella. Because I love that name and I want to call her Marlon Brando/Streetcar Named Desire style.

STELLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAA

STELLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAA

This would be nice too:

Perfect for when I re-watch every single episode of LOST when the series ends next year.

Perfect for when I re-watch every single episode of LOST when the series ends next year.

Maybe I’ll buy a lottery ticket.

ALSO:
I feel I need to share this. I just saw a commercial for a cruise line that said their cruises were “lugzurrious” and that it offered lots of “amentities.” I kid you not. People paid for this. DUMB.

Mind full

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Words in all caps make me feel like they should be shouted.

I’ve gotten e-mails in all caps before. It makes me feel like I’m being yelled at.

I have insomnia.

I wish I could turn the air off but I’m paranoid that the stupid Ticketmaster tickets with their new printing that makes the letters melt off if it gets above a certain temperature will get too hot and be messed up then we’re out 60 bucks a piece.

I wish I could sleep at normal hours of the day.

Last night was awesome – I need more nights like that in my life.

Everyone asked me if I still worked at the restaurant tonight. Should I be nervous? I mean I want to work there..

We’ve been spoiled by the smoking ban here. Tomorrow night I’m gonna be at a bar full of smoke. My contacts may fall out of my eyes.

My bed is comfortable, but could be even more comfortable, dammit I need new pillows.

My black flip flops have lasted about 5-6 years. I will not get rid of them until I can no longer walk in them. It’s coming though.

I have no idea what kind of car I want to get next year. Won’t be a focus though.

Why haven’t I been to Improv in forever?

There are a lot of random things that come to mind after 1 a.m. when you SHOULD BE SLEEPING.

Found out last night that they play some good music from about 4 years ago at 3 a.m. on 98.9.

TV in the bedroom hasn’t been plugged in since before vacation.

When you face a wall at the beginning of the song, karaoke’s not so scary.

I haven’t been to BG in a year and I cannot wait to go tomorrow today.

Can you acquire ADD, lactose intolerance or asthma?

When I have a house someday I want a pool and a projector and a huge screen and every Friday night I’m gonna have movie night in the pool for my friends and family.

Good night.