In case you’re curious as to how my dating life is going…

I had this metaphor in mind for how online dating was like Pokemon Go, but not in a good way, because you catch all of the crazies and you don’t want to and then I realized I may not understand Pokemon Go and it all fell apart. But I also don’t really understand dating theseContinue reading “In case you’re curious as to how my dating life is going…”

Tinderella

Once upon a time, like in any fairy tale, your heroine had had just about enough of trying to date the regular way. Fresh off the latest situation that had started out great and ended horribly (as they all do in these stories), she decided to try something new, because what the hell. And byContinue reading “Tinderella”

I came, I saw, I winked. And then I moved on.

One month. That’s how long it took me to decide. It was a month when my insomnia came back full-force, when my anxiety moved from threat level yellow (where it stays most of the time) to red-orange or orange-red or whatever that crayon color is. It was a month when I had paid $35 andContinue reading “I came, I saw, I winked. And then I moved on.”

The art of the profile

The other night I winked at a bagpiper. Virtually. Not in person. ‘Cause that would look like this. Only more awkward. The last time I encountered a bagpiper in person it was in the middle of the night outside a bar while we were waiting for cabs and I asked him why he was playingContinue reading “The art of the profile”

This is what I want

Remember how I told you about how I’m all independent and whatnot? That doesn’t mean I don’t still want what this song’s talking about – that feeling of when you’re in a new relationship or about to start one and you don’t want anything to mess it up. Just a kiss is all you need,Continue reading “This is what I want”

I tell you what I want, what I really, really want

Yep. It’s a Spice Girls reference. And don’t judge, ’cause I know you liked them too. I remember some of their music videos, especially that first one where they just ran from room to room and then stood on some steps and sang. My sister had the CD. But I didn’t like them enough toContinue reading “I tell you what I want, what I really, really want”

Smooth criminal

I don’t wear turtlenecks. I cut the necks on my hoodies so they aren’t so close to my neck. I don’t wear necklaces and when I do, they aren’t tight ones. Why? Because all of those things make me feel like I’m choking. Seriously. Even t-shirts sometimes feel too tight around my neck and I’llContinue reading “Smooth criminal”