I know about pop-u-ler. Lar.

Bonus points if you get the reference in the title.

I’m pretty sure there are random robots in three different countries (Germany, France and India, I think, based on my stats) that search daily for the phrase “moth flew up my nose.”

That’s weird, right? Even weirder that it leads them to me? Well..nah.

In looking back at some of the posts and the stats on them from my last five years writing this blog, the post with the most views has been the one I wrote about the time a moth traveled through my sinus cavity like the bus on Magic School Bus. Only I could feel it. And it was nasty.

(P.s. 8,615 views JUST on the homepage, not counting individual posts. WOOT.)

So that made me wonder. What else were the robots directing you to? Or (hopefully) what are the posts that the most people read? I figured the one about when I got appendicitis and proved everyone wrong about my hypochondria would be up there, but a couple of the others were a surprise.

So, without further ado – and whether the robots are to blame or these are peoples’ all-time faves – here are the top five most-read/clicked-on blog posts these past five years. And one to grow on.

5. The Girl Who Cried Appendecitis

“I spent an hour waiting to see the doctor at the hospital, during which time I watched an entire episode of Regis and Kelly, learned how to do The Dougie and realized that there may never NOT be a time when people don’t scream when they hear/see/smell/think about Justin Beiber. Oh, I also drank a lemonade spiked with dye that would make my insides change color so they could see my organs in the machine. Delicious.”

4. One year closer to 100
I turned 27 and it wasn’t that exciting. Also – I only accomplished like, two of the things I listed that I wanted to do that year. Whoops.

“There’s no specific things you only get to do once you turn 27, none that I know of anyway.”

3. New Year’s Eve Mystery: Cast of Characters

“You guys, I’ve wanted to host or attend a Murder Mystery party for a long time. Like, ever since the Clue-ish episode of Saved By The Bell. And then again when Hef and the girls did one at the Playboy Mansion on an episode of Girls Next Door (I miss that show…the original one, not the second group).”

2. Nothing rhymes with purple

“Know what else is purple? Just about everything associated with the Walk to End Alzheimer’s. It’s the walk my family and some friends and I are taking part in in a few weeks and even though they give out purple shirts there, our team will be wearing our own, complete with little light purple elephants.”

1. One time this moth flew up my nose

“I have no idea why bugs like to fly at or around or in my nose, but I don’t think it’s fair. I don’t understand it and it’s gross. There’s no light coming from my nose attracting them and I don’t think I have a huge nose or nostrils or whatever. Just lucky I guess.”

Oh and the honorable mention goes to the blog post that started it all:
The origination of the story of the Kentucky Bourbon Boys.

“2:30 p.m. Jack tells us how they smell-test the bourbon and mentions how you “put the cork in the bunghole.” That’s the word they use. Our group laughs. Because we are children.”

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Nothing rhymes with purple

Personally, my favorite color is blue, but I know a lot of people who like purple. And I don’t mind it at all. In fact, a good percentage of my wardrobe is that color.

Which reminds me, I need some new clothes. Meaning The Roommate’s Lady – Maegan, for future ref – needs to go to the stores with me and pick out my clothes. Like she did last time. And I spent entirely too much money but damn if I didn’t get a lot of compliments.

Anyways. Purple. Lots of cool stuff is purple.

Harold’s crayon.

This My Little Pony that probably smells so strong she makes all the other ponies kept in the box with her smell like her. I think I had like, one blueberry-scented pony and next time I opened them to play with them, they were all blueberry-scented mixed with something.

This purple cow.

Purple Rain, by Prince and The Revolution. Listen to this song and try not to sing. Especially when you’re drunk.

Grape stuff is purple too, but I don’t like grape-flavored stuff. Because it tastes nothing like real grapes.

Know what else is purple? Just about everything associated with the Walk to End Alzheimer’s. It’s the walk my family and some friends and I are taking part in in a few weeks and even though they give out purple shirts there, our team will be wearing our own, complete with little light purple elephants.

By this time, you probably know the drill. I tell you I’m walking, then I ask you to donate or walk with us.

But instead of all that, I’m going to give you some facts.

I saw in an article today that about 5.4 million people in the world have Alzheimer’s. About 8,000 to 10,000 of those people are in this state. My grandma is one of them.

But she’s not the only one. And it’s for her – and the other 5,399,999 people – that we’ll be walking along the waterfront Sept. 10. And I hope you’ll be there, in any way you can.