Somethin’ to talk about

OK, so the other day I got really obsessed with my stats and managed to find the ones that had gotten the most reads in the past five years. And oddly enough, the moth one was the winner. Ugh, moths. I just gagged.

Anyways. Another thing I found in my stats search was the top most-commented-on blogs in the past five years. (Shout-out to Jennifer for being the number one – and number three – commenter. BFF.) I was a little less surprised at these, compared to the ones from the most-read list. Seems you all had a lot of thoughts on online dating and helping me decide whether or not to put a life-size poster of Robert Downey Jr. above my bed (which still might happen one day, by the way).

Here they are, though, the five most-commented-on blogs in the past five years:

5. Momma said…

I was asked by my daughter to write a little something this week for Mother’s Day. My daughter is Laura, one of the reporters for this paper. I think she is very good at what she does, of course. That being said, please don’t judge me on what I am about to write.

4. Remembering the end of an era

Harry Potter has been over for a while now. No new books, no new movies. I refuse to accept it.

3. I came, I saw, I winked. And then I moved on.

It was a month when my insomnia came back full-force, when my anxiety moved from threat level yellow (where it stays most of the time) to red-orange or orange-red or whatever that crayon color is. It was a month when I had paid $35 and all I was getting for my money was added stress. And that’s something I definitely don’t need.

2. Getting all crafty up in this piece

Thanks to a well-timed Groupon and a week I didn’t have to buy groceries, I splurged on two canvas prints from a Web site. The pictures I chose for the canvas-izing – yeah I made that word up, so what – are my two favorites from the trip. And there’s a third in the running.

1. Hurry up and wait

So maybe the first couple nights I was a little slutty with the winking (it’s a feature where you basically send people a “wink” whose profile you liked). Aaaaaand nothing has come of it.

And of course there’s an honorable mention for this one, too..because it was tied for number of comments with the one my momma wrote. It was the very first “Sounds familiar,” from WAAAAY back in November of 2009.

Sounds like…CKR (including me)
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
Pledge alligien to american to united states of america.

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I know about pop-u-ler. Lar.

Bonus points if you get the reference in the title.

I’m pretty sure there are random robots in three different countries (Germany, France and India, I think, based on my stats) that search daily for the phrase “moth flew up my nose.”

That’s weird, right? Even weirder that it leads them to me? Well..nah.

In looking back at some of the posts and the stats on them from my last five years writing this blog, the post with the most views has been the one I wrote about the time a moth traveled through my sinus cavity like the bus on Magic School Bus. Only I could feel it. And it was nasty.

(P.s. 8,615 views JUST on the homepage, not counting individual posts. WOOT.)

So that made me wonder. What else were the robots directing you to? Or (hopefully) what are the posts that the most people read? I figured the one about when I got appendicitis and proved everyone wrong about my hypochondria would be up there, but a couple of the others were a surprise.

So, without further ado – and whether the robots are to blame or these are peoples’ all-time faves – here are the top five most-read/clicked-on blog posts these past five years. And one to grow on.

5. The Girl Who Cried Appendecitis

“I spent an hour waiting to see the doctor at the hospital, during which time I watched an entire episode of Regis and Kelly, learned how to do The Dougie and realized that there may never NOT be a time when people don’t scream when they hear/see/smell/think about Justin Beiber. Oh, I also drank a lemonade spiked with dye that would make my insides change color so they could see my organs in the machine. Delicious.”

4. One year closer to 100
I turned 27 and it wasn’t that exciting. Also – I only accomplished like, two of the things I listed that I wanted to do that year. Whoops.

“There’s no specific things you only get to do once you turn 27, none that I know of anyway.”

3. New Year’s Eve Mystery: Cast of Characters

“You guys, I’ve wanted to host or attend a Murder Mystery party for a long time. Like, ever since the Clue-ish episode of Saved By The Bell. And then again when Hef and the girls did one at the Playboy Mansion on an episode of Girls Next Door (I miss that show…the original one, not the second group).”

2. Nothing rhymes with purple

“Know what else is purple? Just about everything associated with the Walk to End Alzheimer’s. It’s the walk my family and some friends and I are taking part in in a few weeks and even though they give out purple shirts there, our team will be wearing our own, complete with little light purple elephants.”

1. One time this moth flew up my nose

“I have no idea why bugs like to fly at or around or in my nose, but I don’t think it’s fair. I don’t understand it and it’s gross. There’s no light coming from my nose attracting them and I don’t think I have a huge nose or nostrils or whatever. Just lucky I guess.”

Oh and the honorable mention goes to the blog post that started it all:
The origination of the story of the Kentucky Bourbon Boys.

“2:30 p.m. Jack tells us how they smell-test the bourbon and mentions how you “put the cork in the bunghole.” That’s the word they use. Our group laughs. Because we are children.”