I know about pop-u-ler. Lar.

Bonus points if you get the reference in the title.

I’m pretty sure there are random robots in three different countries (Germany, France and India, I think, based on my stats) that search daily for the phrase “moth flew up my nose.”

That’s weird, right? Even weirder that it leads them to me? Well..nah.

In looking back at some of the posts and the stats on them from my last five years writing this blog, the post with the most views has been the one I wrote about the time a moth traveled through my sinus cavity like the bus on Magic School Bus. Only I could feel it. And it was nasty.

(P.s. 8,615 views JUST on the homepage, not counting individual posts. WOOT.)

So that made me wonder. What else were the robots directing you to? Or (hopefully) what are the posts that the most people read? I figured the one about when I got appendicitis and proved everyone wrong about my hypochondria would be up there, but a couple of the others were a surprise.

So, without further ado – and whether the robots are to blame or these are peoples’ all-time faves – here are the top five most-read/clicked-on blog posts these past five years. And one to grow on.

5. The Girl Who Cried Appendecitis

“I spent an hour waiting to see the doctor at the hospital, during which time I watched an entire episode of Regis and Kelly, learned how to do The Dougie and realized that there may never NOT be a time when people don’t scream when they hear/see/smell/think about Justin Beiber. Oh, I also drank a lemonade spiked with dye that would make my insides change color so they could see my organs in the machine. Delicious.”

4. One year closer to 100
I turned 27 and it wasn’t that exciting. Also – I only accomplished like, two of the things I listed that I wanted to do that year. Whoops.

“There’s no specific things you only get to do once you turn 27, none that I know of anyway.”

3. New Year’s Eve Mystery: Cast of Characters

“You guys, I’ve wanted to host or attend a Murder Mystery party for a long time. Like, ever since the Clue-ish episode of Saved By The Bell. And then again when Hef and the girls did one at the Playboy Mansion on an episode of Girls Next Door (I miss that show…the original one, not the second group).”

2. Nothing rhymes with purple

“Know what else is purple? Just about everything associated with the Walk to End Alzheimer’s. It’s the walk my family and some friends and I are taking part in in a few weeks and even though they give out purple shirts there, our team will be wearing our own, complete with little light purple elephants.”

1. One time this moth flew up my nose

“I have no idea why bugs like to fly at or around or in my nose, but I don’t think it’s fair. I don’t understand it and it’s gross. There’s no light coming from my nose attracting them and I don’t think I have a huge nose or nostrils or whatever. Just lucky I guess.”

Oh and the honorable mention goes to the blog post that started it all:
The origination of the story of the Kentucky Bourbon Boys.

“2:30 p.m. Jack tells us how they smell-test the bourbon and mentions how you “put the cork in the bunghole.” That’s the word they use. Our group laughs. Because we are children.”

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10, count ’em, 10.

One year and 120 posts later, I think I’m getting the hang of this blogging thing. You’ve heard a lot from me this past year, like about that awkward trip to the dentist and how much I love Jason Segel.

I don’t like all the stuff I write, but there’s a few posts from the past year I’m pretty proud of. Ten, in fact. You may have read them before, but if you didn’t, I suggest you check them out. Remember, I’m all about the self-promotion.

So, without any more ado, here are my favorite posts I’ve written since March 2009, for your reading pleasure.

Oh, and they’re counted down, ’cause you know how much I like countdowns. And lists. It’s OCD, don’t judge.

10. There was that time I wrote about just how much some of the texts from textsfromlastnight.com sounded like my friends.

9. That to-do list I need to get working on… In my defense, I have bought a car on my own and am getting a massage the Friday after my birthday, so CHECK and CHECK. But I hope to accomplish a few of the bigger ones this year, like, say, run a 5K and start a book club (I promise this time) and visit a state I’ve never been to. Oh, and go to Europe. You know, the little stuff on that list…

8. I was given YET ANOTHER REASON TO HATE BIRDS.

7. I interviewed kindergartners at Christmas and re-affirmed my belief in the man in red.

6. Once, I shared with you all my irrational fears. And told you how I almost went blind.

5. I found a fall-back career in case this whole writing thing doesn’t pan out…

4. Because I know you all don’t think I’m weird enough already, I told you about that one time a moth flew up my nose.

3. Since I was born in the 80s and am probably just a horrible person, when I hear Madonna the first thing I think of is the singer. But that is not always who people mean when they say Madonna.

2. Oh, hey, guess what? I won some awards, for like, photography and design and writing and stuff. ‘Cause I’m awesome. True story.

1. And in case I haven’t annoyed you with it enough, there was that time when I bought a car. This is numero uno mainly because it is the post I’ve received more comments and feedback on than any other and also because WHO KNEW IT WAS THAT FRIGGING FRUSTRATING TO BUY A CAR?! I sure didn’t.

So there you have it. 10 posts. One year. And one hypochondriac’s self-diagnosis of carpal tunnel from ALL THAT TYPING.

Enjoy, kids.