Just because…

…I love it.

And I love you!

Enjoy. It’s a Katy Perry song, by Darren Criss. The only other combination that good is chocolate and peanut butter.

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Can’t get enough

This song is on pretty consistently during the day, and by pretty consistently, I mean I play it on my iPod at least five times an hour.

OK that’s not true, but it’s that good. So, it might be on that often pretty soon.

Getting serious here for a minute

It’s not always fun and games over here at on-account-of.com, or, in my offline existence either. But you know that, I’ve talked about it plenty before and for the most part, I am an open book, take it or leave it.

That said, I want to talk about something important, something serious. And it’s about a TV show. Glee, to be exact.

Now bear with me.

Before you roll your eyes, know that for all its corniness and campiness and sometimes ridiculous storylines, it also tends to confront real-life issues in a pretty serious way.

Part of Tuesday night’s episode focused on a character who in the past three seasons of the show has struggled with his sexuality and with who he is, going from a bully to bullied himself.

And in the episode, when he could think of no other way to deal, no other way to confront what was going on in his life and around him, he attempted suicide.

This hit me hard for several reasons, not all of which I’ll share.

I work with teenagers at my church. They’re middle-schoolers and high-schoolers and they’re at a time in their lives when something you or I might see as a silly worry is the worst possible thing that could happen to them.

There have been so many stories in the news recently about teens committing suicide. Because they’re being bullied. Because they’re being mistreated by other students for being who they are and trying to be proud of it.

It scares the shit out of me to think that any of those teenagers I care about so much could one day feel like this.

And it’s even scarier that it’s something that doesn’t go away, even as you get older.

There are people in my life that have been touched by suicide in some way.

There are people who’ve thought about it and then thought again. Or reached out and somehow asked for help.

Let me make one thing clear right now though – I have never been and am not suicidal. Period.

But I do know what it’s like to feel as if nothing – not work, not school, not the situation I’m in with the guy I care about – will get better. I know what it feels like to think (even if you’re completely wrong) that no one cares. I know what it’s like to hate yourself. And it’s a lonely place.

Psychological problems are just as real and just as damaging as any physical, medical problem you can get. Often it’s worse, because you can’t just put a cast or an Ace bandage on your brain or your heart for eight or nine weeks and get all better.

I saw this episode after a particularly bad day in my personal life, but the difference there is, I knew the next day would be better. It had to be.

Some people can’t think like that. Some people don’t believe it will get better. They don’t believe it will get easier. And that breaks my heart.

One of the things in life that scares me the most is the thought that someone I care about would feel this way and not talk to me, not talk to anyone. That they would not somehow, even if they’re not saying the exact words, ask for help.

I felt so many things last night watching it all play out on the show, knowing that they were just putting a face on something that’s happening all over the place. And often to people who aren’t as lucky as the character on the show. Not everyone gets a second chance.

I make sure people in my life know that I care. I tell my family and friends I love them. Because I do love them and because I will be there to catch them when they fall and help them see that things will be OK. I no longer apologize to myself or anyone else for being who I am – that girl that wears her heart on her sleeve in person and on her blog and who also posts lots of Glee songs and videos with Muppets in them.

Bullying is a terrible thing, whether it’s someone else doing it or your own mean thoughts about yourself. I could rattle off a bunch of cliches about how there will be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and whatnot, but I won’t. I’ll simply say that you will go through things that will suck. They will suck beyond belief. But there will be good times too. And there is – or there SHOULD BE – someone(s) in your life who will make sure of it.

And if you don’t have anyone else? Well, you know right where to find me.

I take this job very seriously

My little sister is getting married in August – more on that another time – and as her bridesmaids, me and the baby sister and the bffs all got assignments for the day of the event in the cards asking us to be a part of their day.

Mine, obvs, is to be in charge of the playlist when we’re getting ready.

And you read this blog, you know me. It’s gonna have a LOT of Glee on it. True story.

Part of my challenge, however, is getting everyone to be Glee fans before the day. I think almost all of us are, but for the hold-outs, I am making it my mission to make them a fan by then.

My evidence to support my case? This video:

Yes, it’s corny, but I would totally say yes if I got proposed to like that. (It is a proposal, for those of you who don’t watch, the video just cuts off before he asks her). And also, if you liked nothing else, how hilarious is it when Artie rolls his wheelchair into the pool at the beginning?

Jennifer, you will like this show before August 24th.

Press play. Listen. Be amazed. Repeat.

What’s better than one Adele song? Two put together. And done amazingly. And downloaded onto my iPod so I can listen to it whenever I want.

Yes it’s Glee. But forget that for a minute if you’re not a fan – in which case, really? Have you heard ANY of the music from it? – and just pay attention to the mash-up. And how awesome it is.

I can’t stop playing it. And if I lose my voice soon it’s going to be because I sing along to it as loud as possible on my drive home from work.

Goosebumps

Before you judge me for yet another Glee song (y’all should see my iTunes) you should listen to this.

If you know the context in which this song was done on the show, it’s even better. And its because of that it means even more to me now. Especially after the events of this past week, which I’ll share a little of with you. When I’m ready.

Addicted

I’m working on putting together some playlists to share with you, songs I enjoy grouped together by the situation/mood they are most appropriate for. A mood ring for your ears, if you will. Kinda.

While you wait on that, though, you need to check this out. I know it’s been out a while, but I recently rediscovered it. And I cannot. get. enough.

day 14 – a song that no one would expect you to love

Now, I could put a country song here, since everyone thinks I’m anti-country. But that’s not it. I’m gonna surprise you even more.

People get all excited and lose their minds over 80s music and trends and stuff. I am not one of those. I was born mid-80s and if you wanna talk about the shows, music, styles and trends I remember, I’m a 90s kid all the way.

I was born the year Thriller came out, and while I like MJs music from that decade, there are maybe a handful of other ones from 1980-1989 that I could listen to on repeat.

That said, my song choice for Day 14 – Song that no one would expect you to love, is out there. And honestly, I think the only reason I like it is because Glee redid it.

Don’t judge.

It’s “Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats. And especially since re-watching the episode of Glee (with the roommate) where Artie dances to it in the middle of the mall, it’s been in my head. And I don’t mind it.

I’ll give you both the Glee version and the original. And holy craps! It’s an 80s song! And I like it!

UNHEARD OF.

Trust me, I’m a blogger.

Tonight marks the first in a new segment we here at onaccountof are calling “Sunday Night Suggestions.”

What does that mean, you ask? Well, hold on a dang minute and I’ll tell you. Geez.

From now on, each Sunday night, I will give you a list (don’t act like you’re surprised that I’m making a list) of five things. Sometimes it will be music, sometimes it will be blogs/blog posts, sometimes it will be things I’m looking forward to during the week I think you should take part in as well. Basically, I think I am qualified to suggest these things to you. On account of this is my blog.

So. Here we go. First-ever Sunday Night Suggestions. Don’t call it first annual because that’s not a real expression. Kind of like when people say “that’s a good ideal.” Just shhh.

This week’s suggestions: Music.

Here are the five songs I’ve had on repeat all weekend and I expect to get me through the work week. Thanks, iPhone!

1. Grenade, Bruno Mars. I don’t know what it is about this guy, but I like him.

2. Teenage Dream, Glee soundtrack. OMG OMG OMG OMG. Acapella. Amazing.

3. One Love, Glee soundtrack. Yes, none can top the original. And Jason Mraz does a damn good cover too. But this one has my heart for the moment. Partially because Artie sings half the song. And I love him.

4. Machine Gun, Sara Bareilles. Title sounds violent, song sounds awesome. Saw this lady in concert a week ago. She’s fantastic. I want to be her. Or at least her best friend.

5. You and Me, Holly Conlan. She opened for Sara Bareilles at the concert. You will like her if you like the following: songs that make you want to hug people, songs that belong on a Grey’s Anatomy soundtrack, GOOD MUSIC.

Thanks for your time. Now, get to downloading.