Dear Mother Nature,
Are you mad at us? Did we do something to upset you? I know we have this going for us, but at least we’re not the absolute worst.
Or is it something else? It has to be something pretty bad to deserve three pretty horrible bouts of EXTREMECRAZYANNOYINGHORRIBLERANDOM weather freak-outs in the past two years.
First, the wind storm. Really? A hurricane in Kentucky? How does that happen? Then, the ice storm. It came out of nowhere. Now – a freaking FLOOD.
At least give us some warning. Yeah we knew the wind was blowing. Yeah we knew it was snowing. Yeah we knew it was supposed to rain. But holy crap. I need time! I need to get flashlights, perishables, coffee so my dad doesn’t get pissed that I don’t have it if my family has to camp out at my one-bedroom apartment for a few days ever again – which reminds me, I need an air mattress and maybe another couch or a futon. Oh, and a freaking umbrella. I had an umbrella that broke like, a month ago, and haven’t bought another one. Smart, huh? I have cute Target rain boots, so that’s cool…
If there’s a storm I need to be prepared for guests, for not leaving the house, for having to read or survive by candlelight when the power goes out or when I’m hiding in my closet because that wind is SO FREAKING LOUD!
I’ve known forever that Kentucky weather changes by the minute, but now I’m nervous. I mean, we had an EARTHQUAKE last year. What’s next? Volcano? At this point I wouldn’t be surprised.
Anyway, for the next year – or SEVERAL – can we please get a break from it seeming like it’s THE END OF THE WORLD?
Oh, and thanks for the beaches. And Jamaica.