A few of my favorite things

So. Once upon a time I started this series of posts called “Smiley Things” and then I realized that was a silly name so I changed it.

Basically, this is a collection – which I will do on occasion – of things I currently enjoy or have found elsewhere on the Internets and think are like the coolest things ever.

So here’s the rebranded Smiley Things. A little longer than usual ’cause I feel bad for being MIA for so long (I have a guilty conscience. I’m working on it.) And this post is complete with a bit of a tease to the next post I’ll be working on. (10 points if you guess what it is).

“You dirt-eating piece of slime. You scum-sucking pig. You son of a motherless goat.”

Amazing Muppet art.

There are decent people left in the world. Something that is always important to remember.

SOMEONE BUY ME THIS ASAP

What in thunderation? I will be working a few of these into my vocabulary. Maybe.

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The above amazingness can be found here: Disney Gents From Last Night.

I have a poster of the London Underground already, but this is amazing.

Have I ever linked to this? Even if I have, it’s necessary enough to be done twice.

All the single ladies..

A combination of two of the greatest shows currently on television.


“That’s so Reagan.”

Happy Place usually has some great stuff. This doesn’t disappoint. So glad that Kentucky’s not the only one that came up with that result.

I’d like any or all of these shirts, thanks.
shirts

As if I needed another reason to love Tom Hardy… 

New favorite meme. I would like to come up with a meme in my lifetime. One that gets all famous and whatnot. Wish I’d thought of this one, but I’d have to be MUCH better at photoshop than I currently am.

Beautiful. Hey girl.

For Sami.

Al Pacino yells a lot.

This is my friend. Not Justin Timberlake. I know it might be hard to tell the difference once you watch this.

My goal is to be on this list one day. And I feel like I could get there, since, ya know, this happened:
Screen shot 2013-04-30 at 10.52.14 PM

And like 20 people favorited it – 20 people I don’t even know. So, I mean, I’m basically famous now.

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Operation: Get me on Jeopardy

I know some stuff.

Mainly pointless stuff, like who was in what movie with who and obscure quotes from said movies and the name of the band on The Muppet Show (Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, but who doesn’t know that, right?).

A few years ago they had a competition on VH1 for people like me – and myself and some of the bfs were all prepared to make a team and try out. Until they stopped doing the competition. It was the World Series of Pop Culture and the Bayside Tigers (Katie, Rebeck and I’s planned team name if I remember correctly) would have just killed the competition, but alas, VH1 had to cancel it. To make room for that quality stuff they show now.

Anyways. For as long as I can remember, I’ve watched Jeopardy. And tried to get the answers – and get them right – before the contestants. I don’t watch every night but I do as often as I can.

And the fact that I have gotten the Final Jeopardy question right twice this week alone and, well, several other times has given me hope – however false it may be – that I could totally be a contestant. And not embarrass myself. At least, not too much. Wait till you see what I have planned to do if I win… (hint: it’s NOT make out with Alex Trebek, so calm down)

However, when I checked the website to see how I start my journey to be the next Ken Jennings, I found that you can’t take the test online like I’d seen before. Apparently the testing period is closed, so I’ve signed up for updates to let me know when it opens up again. Other than that, I don’t know how to go about competing.

I do know that it’s a hell of a process and this online test is just the beginning. You take like, 3 practice tests total, then you play a practice game and take a personality test.

OK, I don’t know if you watched it at all this week, but there are at least 2 or 3 contestants on there I know I have more personality than. They must have killed on the practice tests.

So. Add this to my life’s to-do list: Be a contestant on Jeopardy. Right now it’s at a standstill, but I’m going to make it happen. One way or another.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to start drafting my letter to Trebek. Can’t hurt to go straight to the host, right?

One name, like Britney. Or Liza. Or Snoop.

On very rare occasions while driving, I’ll change radio stations. In doing so, I leave my favorite local station, 100.5 – which plays music from my childhood-high school years and STEP BY STEP, OOH BABY. GONNA GET TO YOU G-I-I-I-I-R-R-R-LLL. The station I usually choose is 98.9 because those DJs on 99.7 make my brain hurt and my eyes go crossed because they’re so ANNOYING.

SIDENOTE: Wanna think I’m weirder than you already do? Well. When I was a kid, I used to shout to my mom from the back seat of the car that I was crossing my eyes! What a threat, right? I was the loser in that situation, because in addition to telling people I was crossing my eyes, I also begged them not to hit me on the back while they were crossed or else they’d get stuck that way. FREAK, I TELL YOU.

Anyways. I don’t stay on the other radio station for long, because after I’ve heard the fourth Taylor Swift/Lady Gaga song in as many minutes, I remember why I should’ve taken the station off of my list. Lately, the trifecta of annoying-ness and overplayed-ness on that station is complete with the emergence of Ke$ha. Pronounced Kehhshha, because when the dollar sign is in words thats how it sounds. I wi$h (wehhhshh) I wa$ (wuuhhhhshhh) that cool.

So when I got home, I decided to try out my possible names for when I become a famous journalist or Robert Downey Jr.’s personal assistant or Justin Timberlake’s girlfriend and am known only by one name BECAUSE I’M THAT AWESOME.

With my name, there’s not too much to do to change it up – there’s not a lot that really looks like the letters in my name. That said, here’s what I’ve got.

L@ur@

Not really a fan of this one because the only letters you can really comprehend are Lur. And I don’t want to be known as LUR. Or LATURAT. That would severly compromise my image, having the word rat as part of my name. L, U, and R, are also in the word “hurl,” which I also don’t want associated with my name.

LAU®A

This is the one I’ll probably go with, you know, when the fame comes. It’s basically the same but looks cooler, on account of the symbol. And it’d probably be more fun to write – but harder for autographs. Hmm. May go back to the drawing board someday, but for now, this one can stick.

Look out, world.

My critiques will be free of ‘dawgs,’ mean metaphors and ridiculous percentages

I guess I’m what you’d call a media personality. I mean, I’m in the media, and I have a personality. But I’m not, like, famous or anything. Yet. 🙂

Working at a paper, especially one in a small town, you get to know people. And, usually, people know you. Or, you think they do, and then you get an e-mail from someone you talk to for stories on a pretty regular basis and in it, she calls you LAUREN.

Being a reporter has earned me a pass to do some interesting stuff – get a good seat at packed events so I can take pictures, ride in a Blackhawk helicopter, meet Sandra Bullock’s husband – and now, I get to be Simon Cowell. Or Kara. Or Ellen. But not Randy. He’s a bazillion percent ridiculous.

Our newspaper is sponsoring an American Idol-type singing competition with the chamber of commerce and another business. They needed judges. And I GET TO BE ONE. When I found out we were a sponsor, I asked my boss if we were gonna have a judge to represent us. She said we could and when I told her I’d do it if that was the case, she suggested I call and let the chamber office know.

Cut to today, when I get an official e-mail asking me if I’d be a judge and outlining some of the rules, to which of course I said SIGN ME UP. But I still have some questions.

Do we have a Ryan Seacrest equivalent? Do I need to bring my own Coke cup or will it be provided? Should I wear sunglasses and demand lots of smoke breaks (even though I don’t smoke)? Am I going to need to bring my own headache medicine? Should I practice saying “I’m sorry, sweetie, but no” or come up with my own catchphrase for when someone’s awesome?

I know what I won’t be saying. If asked yes or no, there will be no “A zillion percent yes” or “You were a little bit pitchy, dawg”-type things coming from this judge. I know my stuff. Or at least I should by Wednesday, that’s when auditions start.

We won’t be sending the good ones on to Hollywood, but they will be going to the other side of the county, which leads me to one more question. When we pass them through, do we say, “You’re going to Buckner!!!!!!”??