Overheard at work

“What’s a Kendall Jenner??”

I hate that I know the answer…


Opposites attract

Proof that you don’t have to like the same kinds of things to be best friends.

Conversation is with a friend who will not be named, but know that girl’s got a booty on her.

Me: When I get engaged, I don’t think I want a ring.
Her: Really? I want one as big as my butt-cheek.

A conversation that could only be had in this apartment

Me: Liz is coming over tomorrow night to watch LOST.

Anthony: Cool. Save it (on the DVR) for me.

Me: Nope. I’m going to delete it. And then I’m going to delete all your memories of it.

Anthony: That’s cool, ’cause all day long at work I’ll be researching unorthodox ways to kill you.

Me: Hmm. If you killed me, I just ask that you either do it when I’m asleep, or sneak up on me, because I don’t want to see it coming.

Anthony: I would sneak up behind you in a clown costume in front of a mirror.

Me: That’s OK, because I would be wearing a Civil War soldier’s uniform so that after you killed me I could just start haunting you immediately.

Maybe we watch too much Dexter…