So, winter sucks.

Bears have it right, y’all. They sleep all winter. I could get down with that. Because winter is the shittiest of all seasons.

This one’s been pretty bad, too. Gray and gloomy outside almost every day, cold AF (I can no longer afford to have a social life due to increasing costs of my electric bill from keeping my house “warm”) and just generally sucky.

For people like me, who already live at kind of a meh-ish level, this time of year can be particularly hard. No sunlight (or not much of it anyway), limited time if any outside because FROSTBITE, and yeah… it’s no bueno.

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a thing. Look it up. It’s magnified if you already have other disorders, so that’s fun.

My mood’s been off lately.  I’ve felt cloudy and off and just ehhhh. And there’s no good reason why – besides, ya know, the chemical imbalance. It’s been harder to get up in the mornings, harder to want to do anything but lay in bed or on the couch…

My medicine levels are good. Nothing’s changed there. But I guess I thought when I started feeling better, that would carry over into the winter time and I wouldn’t have to worry about this shit. But that’s depression for ya – never really fixed, no matter how much you think you’ve got it taken care of.

I say this all for a couple of reasons: One is so nobody is offended by how I’ve been as of late – if I’ve been a grump, please don’t take it personally and don’t hate me. The other is for those who aren’t as vocal about all this as I am, who you may not even know are hurting or feeling cloudy or literally aching for just a little bit of sunlight and warmth. Be gentle with us and realize we are doing our best and we’re looking really f-ing forward to spring.

Published by Laura

I've got a few stories to tell.

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