The art of the profile

The other night I winked at a bagpiper. Virtually. Not in person. ‘Cause that would look like this.

Only more awkward.

The last time I encountered a bagpiper in person it was in the middle of the night outside a bar while we were waiting for cabs and I asked him why he was playing a bagpipe outside a bar in Lyndon at 3 a.m.

Of those that have winked at me, one just seems dead-set on seeing more pictures rather than learn anything else about each other and the other’s only picture was him with a Beanie Baby monkey on his shoulder. I shit you not.

I don’t hate, but if you have a Beanie Baby on your shoulder in your dating profile picture, even if you are attractive, I’m probably passing.

Don’t even say its not about looks because it partially is for everyone. And on these profiles you want to put your best picture out there because you want someone to think you’re pretty/good looking because that’s unfortunately the first step.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am severely lacking in the self-confidence department (which is funny because people have told me they think otherwise) in many ways, but I’m not bad to look at. But there’s also so much more besides what you see in a picture that makes me awesome.

So, ya know, the online thing‘s going well…. (“My ideal match must understand and speak fluent sarcasm.”)

What I’m learning each day when I get these new matches is that there’s a fine art that comes with making a profile. And there are things that you definitely should not do but there still seems to be a ton of. And I’ve seen several that are interesting and just as many that make me wonder WTF.

Dos and don’ts of an online dating profile:
Do: Put a picture of yourself
Don’t: Take said picture of yourself in the bathroom mirror. You are not a 14-year-old girl. At least you better not be.
Do: Choose photos that show what you like to do.
Don’t: Post 12 pictures of your face from various angles like the gallery is a flip book of you turning in a circle.
Don’t: post 10 pictures of your dog and one of you that’s about a mile away and hard to see.

Granted, it’s hard to fill out one of those things unless you really like talking about yourself and are super-confident and have lots of pictures of how hot you are (there are several on there that seem to think both of these things about themselves). But be yourself. My profile reflects me in real life. It’s funny, it’s sarcastic, it’s not overconfident and people can check it out.

So that’s where we’re at. For now. But you know I’ll keep y’all updated.

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