There are some harsh realities that come with putting yourself out there into the dating scene (do we call it that? Is it The Game? No, that’s a rapper..).
You have to be patient, I’m told, which is funny because I’ve been patient for quite some time. Long enough that I should win the Most Patient Award by whoever gives shit like that out. Kindergarten classes maybe?
I’m trying that whole online thing, remember? And it took me about 39.21 hours from signing up for “free” to break down and give the Internet money to help find me love.
And this shit’s brutal.
So maybe the first couple nights I was a little slutty with the winking (it’s a feature where you basically send people a “wink” whose profile you liked). Aaaaaand nothing has come of it.
Oh, there was that one “No thanks” from someone, so that was cool…
It also tells you how many people have looked at your profile. Now, I’m not good at math, but I can tell you that my ratio thus far of views to responses is a bit on the unfortunate side.
Yes, I know, be patient. Blah blah blah.
They send you new “matches” every morning, but that just means there are like 4 things on your profile that are the same as mine and you don’t smoke either. SOULMATES.
I’m trying not to be pessimistic, kids. Really I am. But I’ve waited a long while. Long enough to stop thinking about waiting, forget about waiting, get on with my life, and oh, wait, there it is again…start waiting again.
It’s frustrating. Because I’m awesome. I’m also happy, 95.4 percent of the time, with where I am and what I’m doing and what I’ve got. Some of the rest of the 4.6 percent is made up by those 20 MG I take a day that give me heartburn if I forget to eat breakfast….but there’s about 1 percent missing.
I’d like to find the 1 percent. Or maybe just somebody to hold hands with at the movies.