Craft skillzzzzz

You guys, normally I am so not crafty.

I am crafty with words, yes. However, if you were to give me a few popsicle sticks, some feathers and some glue, I would do the following:
– Chew on the popsicle stick on account of I sucked my thumb for a while when I was a kid, therefore have the residual oral fixation and now chew on pen tops, straws etc. and also don’t be gross, OK. It’s a thing. Look it up. Psychology, people.
– Run my fingers along the feathers. They’re soft!
– Not even touch the glue.

Therefore, no craft made, and also maybe a gnawed up popsicle stick or two.

Thanks to Pinterest, however, and people making it look oh-so-easy to do things, I decided to be a little brave when it came time for wedding shower gifts for my ladies getting married this summer.

I saw this thing on Pinterest one day – it looked simple enough. It involved a piece of wood, nails and string. How hard could it be, right? Because people only share things on Pinterest that can be easily recreated….

My history with being crafty and talented with things that aren’t related to my job and hobbies hasn’t been great. Remember when my mom wondered where she’d gone wrong? Or when I had the most nerve-wracking painting experience of my life?

Things weren’t looking good for this outing to Craft World, but I was determined. And determination will get you everywhere in life. Except to a job as Robert Downey Jr.’s assistant/towel girl/ladyfriend. Trust me, I’ve tried.

If this were a blog that involved crafts more often, here’s where you’d get a step-by-step breakdown of the process, a la Young House Love or something. But we are still new at this over here at On Account Of so I’ll instead give you a brief description.

My friend Stephanie helped me find the wood at Home Depot. Or was it Lowe’s? I forget. Problem number 1.

I didn’t even know what kind would work best. I don’t know differences in wood. I know there’s like, plywood, hardwood, oak, 2x4s…shit, I’m just throwing things out there. Yes. I’m a stereotypical girl in that way. Sue me.

Then we bought nails. And string.

With our print-outs of the outlines of two states (Kentucky and Tennessee, where my brides be at), my associate Stephanie and I (she was recruited based on her prior experience with this craft and because she enjoys my company) got to work.

First you hammer little holes in the wood along the outline, like you would if you were carving a pumpkin. Once the holes are all in, you remove the outline and hammer the nails in the pre-made holes.

Once the nails are all in place, you freehand a heart over the city, if you’re fancy. Or you draw one on a piece of paper if you’re like me and need more direction. Trace that puppy with the nails, hammer them in and then you’re ready for stringing.

The whole process hurts your fingers like a mofo by the time you’re done, so I broke it up into a few different nights each time, or as I told the brides-to-be, “Three episodes of Justified.” (Good show, by the way. Mr. Olyphant? Yum.)

They all turned out pretty great, I think, and the girls were all excited to receive them, which makes it all worthwhile.

Below I’ve collected about as much as you’ll possibly get of the process from a visual standpoint, including wedding shower reactions. The only absence is one from Ashley when she got hers because it wasn’t at a wedding shower and I was too excited to take a picture. But the picture I have here I think sums up her reaction best.

All-in-all, a fun little crafty thing I managed to not screw up and my girls and I all are happy with the results and that’s what matters.

Now don’t go expecting to see any other crafts as awesome as these for a while. I’m still recovering.

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