• A lot of restaurants make up for their lack of a vegetarian option by offering a “veggie sandwich.” Veggie means no meat, of course, but what they lack in dead animal they make up for with cheese. No bueno.
• Hamburgers smell better than they ever have when you’ve told yourself you can no longer have them.
• I still hate olives.
• Peanut butter and jelly has more calories than a tuna sandwich.
• I really don’t miss bacon.
• If you close your eyes and pretend really hard, a salad tastes just like ribs.
• This has been the longest month of my life. It seems like I haven’t had meat in years.
HOW THE HELL COULD YOU NOT MISS BACON. I want to know I feel extra passionate about bacon, because I just typed a sentence in all caps from an iPhone…which is really annoying, by the way. I cannot tell you how frustrating it is that there is no delete or caps lock key.
And I realize there were lots of errors too. I just was too lazy to correct them.
Sarah, remind me to tell you my thoughts on bacon next time I see you. We have a history.