I have a dream of a day when I’ll wake up without one of the following – a headache, a stuffy nose or a sore throat.
And on that day, I don’t know what I’ll do, on account of I’ve never had a miracle happen to me before so I don’t really know the protocol, or how I would react, should such an amazing thing happen.
Allergies suck. And they never really go away.
Another thing that doesn’t go away? Depression.
I’ve told you guys before about how I used to be sad but then it got better.
It’s still better, don’t get me wrong. And please don’t think something crazy has happened to make me all the sudden be talking about this again. But it’s true, it sticks around. It’s like allergies, in your brain.
The thing about allergies, though, is I usually can guess when they’re coming. The depression stuff’s not that easy.
See, it sneaks up. One day you’re feeling like it’s under control, and the next day, you would be totally fine if all your day consisted of was not moving from that safe, comfy spot on your bed.
And it’s not like I have anything to be upset about. My problems, the limited amount of them I have, pale in comparison to most. Not to mention, they pale in comparison to the problems of several of my friends and family lately.
I think that’s what’s most frustrating. I can’t shake it sometimes because I don’t know what to blame it on. I just feel…down.
I’m not worrying about stuff, I’m not being a Negative Nancy, I just feel like I’m in a funk. And it comes and goes, which is even more frustrating.
And while it’s nowhere near where it was before I figured out what the hell my deal was, it’s still a pain.
Depression’s a chemical imbalance in your brain. And my chemicals need to balance themselves out, ’cause this is ridiculous.
When you say you’re sad, especially when you don’t really know why you are, people tend to kind of just tell you to be happy. Like it’s that easy.
I’ve said before, I’m not going to be that super-excited all the time Peppy Pepster, because I think that’s pretty unrealistic too. I don’t know anyone that’s perfectly content all the time. And if there are people that are, well, they’re on some serious uppers.
This will pass, because it always does, I’ve just got to wait for it to. Just like the allergies.
On account of... 
I think that everyone gets in a funk like this sometimes- when something is making you feel down, but you don’t know what that ‘something’ is. The key is knowing how to overcome it before it spirals out of control. I know you know how to do that now. But if you feel like it’s getting out of hand, you know I’m here if you need me.
I feel you Laura…sometimes you just can’t help what you feel, but like Jennifer said it’s knowing how to overcome it, which sometimes is harder than dealing with the actual depression.
Everyone has days where they don’t want to do anything, but I get that you have more of those than others. I try to keep myself busy? but I also like to give myself some “me” time to let it pass. Think about all the good things in life and sometimes, you just need a good day to not feel great, be in a funk, and that’s that. 🙂 You know I’m here too!
Thanks, ladies. I appreciate the comments and the support. And I know how to overcome it, I just don’t want it to come back! 🙂 I’m definitely trying to do things that keep my mind off it though and I agree, Ashley, about giving it time to let it pass. This weekend I took it easy and just had a day for me and that helped a lot.
I’m also overdue on my every-other-month massage I’ve been treating myself to. Maybe that’s what’s up. Heh.
I totally think it’s the massage thing… Get on that.
But in all seriousness, I agree with Jen and Ashley- everyone definitely has those days where all you want is to be alone in your room all day. Maybe next time you feel that way though you should try going out and doing something active? Like taking a walk (if it’s not 4000 degrees out) or going to the Summit or mall and window shopping (DO NOT GO IN TARGET. YOU WILL SPEND A BILLION DOLLARS) or going to read in a comfy chair at Starbucks or something like that. Sometimes I go places JUST because I need to go SOMEWHERE. Takes your mind off things and gets you out of the house for a little while which can never be a bad thing.