I have a dream of a day when I’ll wake up without one of the following – a headache, a stuffy nose or a sore throat.
And on that day, I don’t know what I’ll do, on account of I’ve never had a miracle happen to me before so I don’t really know the protocol, or how I would react, should such an amazing thing happen.
Allergies suck. And they never really go away.
Another thing that doesn’t go away? Depression.
I’ve told you guys before about how I used to be sad but then it got better.
It’s still better, don’t get me wrong. And please don’t think something crazy has happened to make me all the sudden be talking about this again. But it’s true, it sticks around. It’s like allergies, in your brain.
The thing about allergies, though, is I usually can guess when they’re coming. The depression stuff’s not that easy.
See, it sneaks up. One day you’re feeling like it’s under control, and the next day, you would be totally fine if all your day consisted of was not moving from that safe, comfy spot on your bed.
And it’s not like I have anything to be upset about. My problems, the limited amount of them I have, pale in comparison to most. Not to mention, they pale in comparison to the problems of several of my friends and family lately.
I think that’s what’s most frustrating. I can’t shake it sometimes because I don’t know what to blame it on. I just feel…down.
I’m not worrying about stuff, I’m not being a Negative Nancy, I just feel like I’m in a funk. And it comes and goes, which is even more frustrating.
And while it’s nowhere near where it was before I figured out what the hell my deal was, it’s still a pain.
Depression’s a chemical imbalance in your brain. And my chemicals need to balance themselves out, ’cause this is ridiculous.
When you say you’re sad, especially when you don’t really know why you are, people tend to kind of just tell you to be happy. Like it’s that easy.
I’ve said before, I’m not going to be that super-excited all the time Peppy Pepster, because I think that’s pretty unrealistic too. I don’t know anyone that’s perfectly content all the time. And if there are people that are, well, they’re on some serious uppers.
This will pass, because it always does, I’ve just got to wait for it to. Just like the allergies.