I never watch awards shows. But I did last night. Maybe it was ’cause of James Franco. Maybe it was ’cause I’d actually seen more than one of the movies nominated.
Most likely it was ’cause my sister sent out a Facebook message that said she was hosting an Oscars party in my parents’ basement.
What follows is a sampling of the conversations that went on while we watched. You’re welcome.
Liz, on seeing Celine Dion on the pre-show: “Why doesn’t she age?”
Shane: “She’s wearing the necklace from Titanic, it keeps you from aging.”
Eth: “That’s Mila Kunis.”
Dad: “Who what-iss?”
Sami, commenting on how she had too many snacks: “I’m all full on broccoli. And doughnuts.”
Rachel, every time someone spoke with an accent: “What is he/she saying? I can’t understand you!”
(Related) Sami: “Why is everybody BRITISH?!”
On account of... 