The Anarchy of the Monarchy

What does your family talk about on major holidays?

Because mine started a discussion that lead to a crown being made out of aluminum foil and worn by my dad, the apparent “King of the Family.”

OK – so apparently, a week or so ago, my parents and sisters started a discussion about kings and queens. It wasn’t just some random conversation, really, though I wouldn’t be surprised if it was. It was because they were talking about how Prince William is getting married.

That discussion turned into one about if our family was the royal family, who would be king or queen and how it would be passed down after that. After some arguing and discussion and then some help from Google, they found out that if my grandpa on my dad’s side had been a king, my dad would be next in line. After that, it’d be me, then pass down to my sisters. After Baby Einstein, however, it would go to my dad’s brother. They have a sister between them, but apparently “boy trumps girl.” Yeah…

However, Baby Einstein really enjoys the fact that she’d be queen before the crown would be passed to my uncle, Tony, to be king.

The conversation got brought up again yesterday when we were waiting to start eating Thanksgiving dinner (round 2) and Baby Einstein dropped the news on my uncle that she’d be queen before he’d be king. And then, they proceeded to run down the list of who’d take the throne and when, and needless to say, some people were none too happy with their place in line.

My cousin, Eth, the second son of my aunt (who is the next oldest of the seven kids after my dad….confused yet?) wouldn’t be king for a long time. He’d have to wait through my dad, three uncles and a bunch of girl cousins, not to mention his mom and older brother. So he warned us all to watch our backs, jokingly of course, but for the next 30 minutes, there were different threats tossed around, one of which included my uncle Tony saying he’d feed my sisters and I poisoned KFC. Why KFC? I have no idea.

So then, a crown was made of aluminum foil and passed or stolen throughout the rest of the day. And I said several times how thankful I am that my grandpa was not a king because apparently our family would be awfully violent right now.