Ode to a channel/Why I need to get a life

I probably should just leave the TV off before I go to bed. I’d probably sleep better. Or I could at least put it on the History Channel. That’s usually guaranteed to put me to sleep, unless of course they’re showing “Gangland” or something – because I’m not about to not learn how to survive should I ever go to jail. Not that I would.

Speaking of jail, though… you’ve heard how I think I was either a criminal or a cop in a past life. So that may explain why I like truTV. It’s got a lot of crappy shows, but there’s a lot of good stuff too – like COPS, Forensic Files and tons of those shows where you can watch videos of people breaking their bones or something else.

Oh, and Sunday nights they show Las Vegas Jailhouse. I never want to go to jail, btw. I wouldn’t last a day.

Anyways. That’s the channel I watch before bed. And it gives me crazy dreams sometimes, but mostly it’s just interesting.

Seriously, the intro to Forensic Files is always something completely off the wall that hooks you – for example, something like “Find out how a toilet paper roll, a pencil and a VHS copy of The Little Mermaid helped stop a serial killer.”

I’m not even joking. Sometimes those intros come up and I’m like, “dammit, now I’m hooked!” They can figure anything out through forensics. It’s unbelievable.

So. Here are a few haikus to show my love for channel 36 on my TV. I need to get a life, I know. Don’t remind me.

Forensic Files
Blades of grass can solve murders
Who needs blood or hair

TruTV you are
my favorite channel but
you should show Cheaters

Las Vegas Jailhouse
What to do when arrested
Keep your damn mouth shut

Shocking videos
Cringeworthy, but I still watch
They have a death wish

COPS, COPS, COPS, COPS, COPS
I’ll watch any day or time
Wish I had G4.