I really hope you got the title of this post. If you didn’t, well, you need to watch more movies – good movies.
What it really means, though, is that this past weekend I got to do what only happens a few times a year. I got to get together with my seven best friends from college for a weekend of awesomeness. For us, that means an ab workout just from all the laughing, and tons of good quotes and stories that we’ll talk about the next time we all get together. And the next time after that. And after that. Oh, and this particular time, we got together to watch one of ours get married.
Daniel and Katy got married Saturday and the weekend is one of the most fun I’ve had in a while. Even though we don’t all get to see each other when we do, we make it count.
“Baby wants a salad.”
“Baby likes the grass.”
“Baby needs a miracle.”
“Baby is wasted.”
“Baby has not been like this since 2007.”
“I’m gettin’ real close to givin’ up.”
“I’m naked from the waist down.”
“What’s Hunter’s last name?”
“Do you have a fence?”
“Do you give advice?”
Ashley stares at me while she drinks pickle juice. Out of a bag.
“That pickle was a bad idea. (BURP)”
“It had a tail.”
“These Grippo’s are hot. We are like dragons.”
“If we weren’t (insert age between 80 and 112 here) then we could still hang.”
“It’s never too early to fist pump.”
“You caressed his face.”
“Yep. And then he said, ‘I’m going where she’s going.'”
“They won’t take us, they said five is too many.”
“Did you hear those Woo Girls downstairs?”
“Fist pumping is hard work – that’s why they go to the gym. I will never make fun of Snooki again.”
Me: “The Situation we are not.”
Rebeck: “I’m The Problem.”
“My hand was in the toilet water.”
“Because it felt good.”
“We were freezing. Because we were just covered in a piece of tissue paper.”
“When we’re done climbing Mt. Kilamunjaro…”
“This feels like a mountain.”
“Trevor is on life support.”
“My how the tables have turned…”
“I like the way you say ‘penguin.’ In Muhlenburg County we say ‘pennnnguin.’ You say ‘pinguin.'”
“I’m hungry. I want to go get an omelet.”
“Just sayin’.” (Insert Snooki hand movement here).
“If they hadn’t taken away the wine cup pyramid, I’d have been able to keep track of how many I had.”
“You tried to steal sea salt.”
“I think someone stole one of my kidneys last night.”
“We’re gonna have to carry Baby out of here.”
Sammi: “On a stretcher.”
“We’ve nominated you to be the one that Stevie feeds like a baby bird later.”
“I spit chicken sandwich on the dashboard.”
“The bathroom floor was hard at one point, so I moved to the carpet..”
“And I said to him ‘Baby..’ …but I didn’t call him ‘Baby.'”
This is Stevie, by the way:
Other things we learned:
– If there are no options left for how you should pose in a picture, go with the “Coppertone Baby.”
– Buying drinks for each other at the gas station is totally romantical. As is eating an entire bag of Grippo’s and opening one of said drinks before you’ve even paid for your purchases.
– Giant pickles do not make a good breakfast. Especially if they have a growth.
– Trevor sometimes sleeps face down with all his clothes on on top of the covers. Do not be alarmed.
– Sammi sometimes sleeps on a couch cushion in front of the bathroom. Again, don’t be alarmed.
– Just when you think someone might be asleep, they roll over and poke you in the forehead and say “Boink!” Three Stooges-style.
– Hypochondria is real. And if you think you might have a concussion, don’t WebMD it.
– If the event you’re attending is black tie, it’s perfectly acceptable to bring a penguin head on a stick. However, he will sneak into almost all your pictures.
– Penguin heads on a stick also: eat bubbles, bite children, throw up the marbles from centerpieces, throw up in people’s purses, will feed you a Listerine strip from their mouth and can’t hold their liquor.
– Our group of friends WILL be the ones that sing ‘our version’ of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin'”even if children are around.
– We will also be the ones fist-pumping. With the bride and groom.
– No matter what the bartender at Joe’s tells you, you CANNOT stand on tables at Hofbrauhaus. Or you will get yelled at.
– Not everyone will tell you what just happened if you walk through a mysterious orange-ish puddle. And who needs those caution signs?
– Sammi likes accordions.
– Eight people can fit in Erin and Nick’s jeep. But not all of them will be comfortable.
– When “Party in the USA” comes on, this happens:
And finally, no matter how far we live apart or how long it is between reunions, when we’re together it’s like nothing has changed. These are some of the greatest people I’ve ever met and my life would not be the same without them. Love you guys!