Team Edward, Team Jacob, Team I Really Don’t Care.

If you like Twilight, like, A LOT, you’re not gonna like what I have to say. Because I’m not a fan. So… to be fair, I warned you.

OK, I don’t have an aversion to the supernatural, but in the past it has taken me time to warm up to it – I didn’t start reading the Harry Potter books until about three or four years after everyone else. I went on a couple of ghost tours and I think it’d be kind of cool if a lot of that supernatural stuff really existed. Oh, and also I watch True Blood. Just started in December when HBO re-ran the first season.

Before you go and judge and say “how can you like True Blood and not Twilight” let me just tell you – they are NOTHING alike except for the fact that vampires and werewolves exist in both. Trust me. Watch one episode of it and you’ll be saying “Robert who?” Seriously.

Now. I don’t watch True Blood for any other reason than entertainment, of course. It’s got some good actors, it’s got some funny parts and, well, I’m not gonna complain about seeing Ryan Kwanten and Alexander Skarsgard naked just about every Sunday night.

*Drool*

Anyways. I gave Twilight a chance. Really. I read ALL FOUR of the books, even though after the first one they started getting progressively more frustrating to read, but there was something to them – I wanted to see what happened, so I kept reading. But it wasn’t because I wanted to marry Edward or because I hoped Bella would turn into a vampire. Unfortunately, I know more about the story than I care to sometimes admit. I watched the first movie and recently caught up on the second one, mostly making fun of it with the friends I watched it with.

Speaking of – on one recent game night, my friends and I played charades, as usual, and one of the clues that someone wrote down that my friend Liz had to act out was “Everyone Here Hates Twilight.”

I’ll probably see the third movie too, but not in the theater – there’s no amount of money that you could pay me to sit through a movie with a bunch of girls that scream every time a guy appears on the screen. Case in point – when I saw the most recent Iron Man movie, they showed a Twilight preview. All but about two people in the theater groaned when it started. My kind of people.

I know the book was written with teenage girls in mind. And I’ve known girls who act like Bella does. Hell, I was pretty much that girl in high school – I had the journals and the notes back and forth with friends that show it. What kind of girl am I talking about? The one who is constantly over-dramatic and is more worried about the guy in her life than, well, anything else. I’m telling you – my last two years of high school prove my point. I was her.

In the second movie, after SPOILER ALERT Edward leaves her, Bella lays down on the ground. In the woods. Until her dad, a cop, notices she’s missing and comes to find her. Then, she proceeds to sit in a chair in her room and – we are supposed to believe – stare out the window for months and months.

I get the sad break-up thing. Been there. Had to go to the doctor because I wasn’t eating and was getting sick and was basically a hot mess. And it was ridiculous.

But. I learned from it. And from the stupid things I worried about in high school and letting how a boy felt about me determine my mood, my sense of worth and my reason for living. I don’t think a movie or book with a main female character like that – directed at teenage girls – is a good thing or a positive message to send.

That’s just me, though. I don’t judge anyone for watching the movies or reading the books, I’ve seen them all so far and read all the books, but that doesn’t mean I agree with their message.

Sure it’s nice to swoon over an imaginary man that is written to be perfect, but my issue is the message it’s sending. Vampires aren’t real. Robert Pattinson’s character in the movie is just that, a character. He’s not real either.

And if I’m wrong, then send Alex Skarsgard to my house to prove it. 😉