One time this moth flew up my nose.

And it has scarred me for life.

I think I have what’s an average reaction to insects. I don’t scream and run and freak out. Sometimes I gag a little but usually the reaction is to get a tissue, napkin or piece of paper and squash the sucker then throw it away or flush it.

But now that one has flown up my nose, I’m a little more creeped out by them. And grossed out.

FYI, this is kinda gross. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

OK, so, a couple summers ago my best friends and I met up for one of our reunions. On one of the two days we were together, we decided to go canoeing.

Most of the day went by without incident, but about halfway through the trip I heard a little fluttering noise and felt a moth come out of nowhere and hit my nostril. My first, natural reflex was to sniff really quickly and reach up to swat it away from my nose. BAD IDEA. That moth went right up there and for a couple minutes I was completely convinced it’d flown away. NOPE.

After those couple minutes – during which all I could smell was something funny, I really can’t describe it – I realized that it was in my nose/throat and ughhhh, just thinking about it makes me sick. So what do you do? I kept sniffing and coughing and clearing my throat and doing whatever I could to try and get it out.

Long story short, I made myself throw up a little – sorry, Katie, who was in the next boat and is bothered by throwing up – all the while apologizing to my friends for having to do so but EWWWWWWWW that thing had to get out of my nose! And amazingly and disgustingly enough, when I finally gagged and spit a little into the water, there was that effing moth. Ew, I just coughed thinking about it again.

I told you that story to tell you this one – last week when I was on the ghost tour I was writing about for work, another tiny winged creature (not sure what, ’cause it was dark and so was the bug) flew at my nose. Again, I sniffed, the reflex, and then breathed out hard through my nose. I have no idea if this time it flew away but all I could think about was what happened with the moth and whether it went in my nose or not, for the next 15 minutes all I could think was “That bug’s in my nose, and I’m gonna accidentally swallow it if I don’t cough it out” and (this is gross again, so skip the next sentence if you’re scared) “Ohmygosh is that a piece of the bug I feel on my tongue?”

Sick, right? So as soon as I left the tour I went and bought a big drink to get the taste – or imagined taste, it really could have been either, like I said, I’m traumatized from that moth incident – out of my mouth.

I have no idea why bugs like to fly at or around or in my nose, but I don’t think it’s fair. I don’t understand it and it’s gross. There’s no light coming from my nose attracting them and I don’t think I have a huge nose or nostrils or whatever. Just lucky I guess.

Thought I would share this story as a warning to you all. Guard your nostrils when you’re outdoors, because what happened to me could happen to you. Watch out.