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Wherein I contemplate getting a brand-new face

16 Feb

I hate my senior pictures. There I said it. Hate them. It’s really not a secret though, I’ve joked on them since we got the proofs and my mom framed an 8-by-10 of probably the worst one, one that still hangs in the family room at their house, so that the only way I could escape it was to move out.

We refer to it as Lancelot, because really, there’s no other way to explain it. I’ll just show you…

Sorry it’s dark. It was 10 years ago. It’s an artifact.

Now let’s dissect it.

1. A turtleneck. WTF. That smile on my face is fake because a) I can’t smile on command and b) I am most likely choking. Turtlenecks do that to me. And it’s white. What the hell? I’m surprised there’s not something on it already. It takes me .912 seconds to get something on a new white shirt. We may have kept this in an air-tight container until moments before this photo.

2. Beautiful cheekbones, I will say that. Still got ‘em, too. I am 90 percent sure they are what fools people into thinking I’m photogenic (seriously, I get that a lot and I think it’s hilarious).

3. Class ring. Currently unaccounted for (but somewhere in this apartment so don’t freak out, Mom, it’s probably in a box in the closet) and this was the only day I wore it besides the ring ceremony where we got it – proving my point that I do not need an engagement ring when proposed to someday. Guys (well guy, I guess, whoever you may end up being), don’t waste your money on bling for me. We should spend the money on a trip instead.

4. BANGS. The bane of my existence my whole senior year – well, that and Kris. This was about the time I decided to start growing the bangs out. Do you know how long it takes to grow out bangs? They were SHELLACKED to the sides of my head at prom because they weren’t long enough to pull back or to leave like they are in this picture. Rough life, I tell ya.

5. Split ends. Also, right where that number five is? The ONE natural wave I have in my hair. ONE. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Oh also? This is Lancelot.

The resemblance is astonishing.

I tell you that story to tell you this one.

The background: While in jolly olde England this summah, (yes that was all intentional) I bought my family souvenirs, because I am that sweet and thoughtful. While at Abbey Road, I bought my mom a Beatles bag, that she now uses to take her lunch and other stuff to work.

Exhibit A:

Earlier this week, she relayed to me a story involving said bag that made me wonder what exactly I must really look like, because my mirrors have got it completely wrong.

Apparently the bag was sitting in the back room and was folded over so you couldn’t see that it said anything about the Beatles. Her friend/co-worker, who is someone I used to like asked her where she’d gotten a bag/why she had a bag with my picture on it.

My picture. Or, you know, one of Sir Paul McCartney. Same thing.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go have a cry and re-evaluate every haircut and fashion choice I have made in my almost 28 years of life.

 
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Posted by on February 16, 2012 in Blah blah blah, For reals, Photos

 

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Smiley things

11 Feb

I think I’ve said before that perspective is a hell of a thing. Life could be much worse and luckily, it’s not. That said, I’m not apologizing for my recent melodrama because it was the truth of what I was feeling at the time.

Now, having come out of it – and having taken a serious metaphorical chill pill – there’s less to worry about and more to be happy about.

Wanna know what’s making me smile lately?

I knew you would.

• Zee Avi’s Concrete Wall – Not the official video, but it’s got Kermit in it and it’s an awesome song.

• Alligator Sunglasses.

• Bookshelves that are overflowing. I’m never getting a Kindle. Well. Maybe. Currently reading: “Thunderstruck” by Erik Larson.

• Shameless on Showtime. Thank you, Roommate and new channels with Insight Cable.

• Photography jobs – kind of. I’ve completed one photo session with one of my favorite engaged couples for their Save-The-Dates and I have another shoot next weekend. Add that to the possibility of a third as well as being asked to bring my camera and shoot some stuff at the bf’s beach wedding and you have one happy – and busy – budding photographer girl.

• THE HUNGER GAMES MOVIE COMES OUT IN A MONTH. Sorry for the caps, but now that HP is done, I have to have a new series to get hyped about.

• The Mini-Warbler.

• A kid that wakes up dancing to rap music. This is my future child.

• Good blogs/bloggers. They make me want to be a better writer and photographer. To be craftier. Here’s a few ladies (and a gent) to follow. Kelle Hampton at Enjoying The Small Things, Heather Armstrong at Dooce and John and Sherry at Young House Love & Young House Life.

• Movie previews. There are lots of movies I wanna see.
Like this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

• This picture:

 
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Posted by on February 11, 2012 in Awesomeness, Lists

 

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Just watching you while you sleep…

27 Jan

I need more public transportation in my life.

Most of my experiences with buses or trains or subways or monorails or boats or whatever, have all been while I’m out of town on vacation.

In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen asleep on all of the aforementioned modes of transportation, especially that one time when Ash and I went to London and had such bad jet lag we slept for 13 hours.

Speaking of, I took a picture of Ashley asleep on the subway while we were there. Because it’s funny to take pictures of people while they sleep. Because usually they look crazy/weird. And by they, I mean me.

And the people at poopt.tumblr.com.. Because apparently, someone got the idea to start a blog where it’s all just submitted photos of people asleep on public transportation. (Be real, you thought for a second because of the url it was gonna be about poop, didn’t you. Sorry to disappoint.)

I wish I’d thought of that.

And also may have found a new goal – get my picture on that website. But it has to be taken by someone I don’t know. Which means my friends can’t submit a picture of me sleeping on a bus and send it in. Also, I guess that means I need to start taking the bus.

 
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Posted by on January 27, 2012 in Wish I'd thought of this

 

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Move over, professional photographers

03 Jan

I don’t know if y’all heard, but this girl got a camera for Christmas.

Naturally, the first thing I did was recruit some guinea pigs sisters and cousins to help me test out my shooting ability. I gave them no direction, just said they’d each get a turn as an art director.

The results? Probably the best shots I’ve ever taken. I mean, see for yourself. Related: I am also available to shoot your family photos, senior pictures, engagements, babies and general household photography.

We call this one “Cookie Lunge.”

“Hot Pants”

“Oh hey, these flowers are nice, but did I leave the oven on?”

“Present display”

“The Last Unicorn”

“I’m just wearing this new scarf”

“Adorable Family Photo or Adorable-est Family Photo?”

“Plank”

“In case of spit-up”

“You’re forlorn because no one is sitting in the chair.”

“Uncle Tony Photobomb”

“Red-nosed Reindeer”

“Meditations on a Hardwood Floor”

“Fight in Progress”

As I said before, I’m available for parties, family photos, engagements…

 
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Posted by on January 3, 2012 in Family, Photos

 

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We’ve all gotten a little bit taller since then…

26 Nov

Hey turkeys, I hope you had the happiest of Thanksgiving. My family’s was pretty great, but more on that later.

At Grandma’s back in the day, we always got pictures taken of all the grandkids at every holiday. I, being the oldest, have always been the designated baby-holder, ’cause I’m responsible and whatnot.

A few weeks ago, my cousin, Anna, posted this gem to her Facebook:

It was from Christmas, I think, 17 years ago. Meaning I was 10. And Anna, who posted it, is that crying baby on my lap. Since then we’ve added a few more cousins, but for the sake of comparison and hilarity, we recreated it this year with the original cast.

Needless to say, we can no longer all 8 fit on Grandma’s couch. But the dynamic and the silliness and the adorableness is still basically the same.

 
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Posted by on November 26, 2011 in Family, Photos

 

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Not-so-subliminal messaging

12 Oct

‘Member how I’m getting better at photography?

Guess what would help that even more?

Isn’t she pretty? Not mine, yet, but that’s where this blog – and hopefully my family – comes in.

You see, I don’t need much in life – I buy my own DVDs and groceries and pay my bills. And when it comes to Christmastime and my birthday and the next Christmas and birthday, I am content with nothing. As long as for one of them I get this camera.

On amazon.com, you can find them for cheap. Used, even. And that’s fine by me, as long as the thing isn’t broken or there isn’t a scratch on the lens.

I’ll even buy all the accouterments myself. Bag, card, other lenses.

It doesn’t have to be a Canon either. That just happened to be one of the first ones that popped up. I’ll take a Nikon.

All’s I know is in my last job I used one all the time and fell in love. Then this summer when I borrowed my aunt’s fancy one and used it in England, I wanted to marry the thing.

Think of the great pictures I could take. Think of how much better this blog could get! (Not much, I know, it’s already pretty great.)

So when you start making your Christmas list, I’ll be making 100 copies of these pictures and leaving them strategically placed around my parents’ house. Same goes for birthday time. I’m real sneaky like that.

 
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Posted by on October 12, 2011 in Awesomeness, Family

 

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Getting all crafty up in this piece

10 Oct

So after I went to jolly ol’ England and took loads (that’s such a British word) of photos, I took a couple of them and blew ‘em up.

Thanks to a well-timed Groupon and a week I didn’t have to buy groceries, I splurged on two canvas prints from a Web site. The pictures I chose for the canvas-izing – yeah I made that word up, so what – are my two favorites from the trip. And there’s a third in the running.

Only problem? Where to put them. You see, my room doesn’t really have any specific design aesthetic. It’s just kind of stuff I’ve collected and decided to hang on the wall. Case in point – there’s an old school Marlon Brando poster about eight feet away from a clock with the numbers from LOST. Both purchased for me by Rachel, in fact. Thanks, Rach!

I love all of it, though, and it will all probably look really cool one day in separate rooms. But for now, I want it all in this room.

And I’ve got this one blank wall to decorate. Therefore, I need some help.

Luckily for me – and you – I’m pretty good with InDesign. So I played around with a couple options.

First though, the space we’re working with:

Ignore the mess. It never always looks like that.

Here’s my first idea – the two canvas prints I already have and a larger print in the middle. It’s a picture of the London tube system, which is really confusing when you’ve had no sleep for 24 hours but is on a map in a bunch of pretty colors with even cooler names for stops. Like Westferry, Wapping and Cockfosters.

The second possibility includes that third canvas I was thinking about getting made. It’s of the London Eye, which we saw but didn’t get to ride. And I wasn’t too upset. On account of the height.

There’s another option with four prints, but it’s probably my least favorite.

And if none of those work, there’s always this option:

The colors even match the wall. It’s like he’s supposed to be there.

 
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Posted by on October 10, 2011 in Apartment living

 

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Dazzled by the pudds

19 Jul

You guys, people say England isn’t known for its food. And to that, I say, “Pshaw,”
on account of some of the best food I’ve ever eaten I had when I was in England.

For reals. England should be known for its deliciousness.

And, because we are American, we took pictures of pretty much everything we ate. And drank. Which was a lot. Prepare to get hungry.

We didn’t have fish and chips – don’t judge, we gotta save something for next time – but we had all kinds of other stuff.

Like, the second day. When we went all proper English and had tea. Along with tiny sandwiches and some delicious desserts.

Isn’t it pretty?

And that, well, that is just a table full of desserts I could have probably eaten every bit of. Including Victoria Sponge cake. She had the cake made for her every day. It must be so nice to be royal.

Speaking of proper, though, we saw a sign for proper hamburgers. But didn’t have any. I’m not sure what constitutes a proper hamburger, but I imagine you have to wear gloves while you eat it or something.

Possibly – in my opinion anyway – the best thing we had was our breakfast at The Wolesley. A close second was the dim sum and other yummy Chinese food we had that was so amazing we spent our time actually eating it and took no pictures of it.

But our fancy Wolesley breakfast started with these beverages – a cappuccino and an affogato (which Ash and I of course called an Afro Cat). The affogato is a scoop of ice cream – yep for breakfast ’cause I’m an adult and I do what I want – with espresso poured over it.

Our actual meals? Ashley had Eggs Benedict and I had something called an Arnold Bennett omelet.

Kids, I don’t eat omelets in America. This trip changed my life.

Other food highlights?

Ashley got some British candies. And I would have pictures to show you of the display but that wasn’t allowed. So this is Ashley, with her British candies. When we were on the one wrong train we got on our whole trip.

We had some amazing nachos.

And then there was this other dessert that I may or may not be drooling over while writing this.

Yeah. That’s a belgian waffle, with bananas and vanilla ice cream on it and some kinds of sauce. I think chocolate and caramel maybe.

Bangarang.

At a dinner party we had appetizers and an entree that were almost too good for words, followed by Gu cake. Gu with a little doohickey over the u. And the title of this blog post? Written on the side of the Gu cake box. Seriously.

I don’t like cake, but I would marry this stuff. It was that good.

We also found some new favorite drinks. And I’m strictly a beer girl these days so the fact that I loved both of these means they’re REAL good.

This first one, I honestly don’t remember what’s in it. It’s a Tokyo something. And we drank it in two minutes because we had to go catch the tube.

And finally, I’d like to introduce you to PIMMS, a.k.a. THE BEST DRINK I’VE EVER HAD.

OK. So this drink is a type of gin, I believe. The way we had it – and in our opinion, the only way you should drink it – was in a glass mixed with lemonade and garnished with all kinds of stuff.

What kinds of stuff, you ask? Strawberries, oranges, mint and…wait for it…cucumbers.

I ate so much stuff with cucumbers in it in England. And liked it. What is wrong with me? I pick them out of salads here.

So, if you know where in America we can get some PIMMS, especially without paying an arm and a leg, please let Ash and I know. We’ll be your best friend. And we might let you share…might being the operative word there…

 
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Posted by on July 19, 2011 in Trips

 

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This kid is awesome

17 Jul

In addition to several adults we spent time with during our trip to England, we also got in some QT with my cousin’s 6-year-old son, Alistair.

One of the funniest kids I know, seriously.

The one-liners kept coming all week and there’s so much that made us laugh..I don’t know where to start.

You’ve already heard his feelings about nudity.

He doesn’t always say “brilliant,” but there are loads of other (see what I did there?) British phrases he throws into conversation.

Some examples?

“Can I have a go on your iPod when we get home?”

“Mummy, can we go straightaway?”

“Shall I go get the game?”

He loved Ashley from the second we got there, so much so that I asked if she was his girlfriend. Allyson said “Isn’t Sloane your girlfriend?” Sloane, of course, being a girl at his school.

Alistair: “She was.”
Allyson: “Is she not still your girlfriend?”
Alistair: “No.”
Allyson: “Why not?”
Alistair: “She smacked me in the face and I broke up.”

The child is also a fantastic photographer, he really can capture the moment, like he did when he caught this beautiful moment:

And other gems like these:


I haven’t even mentioned the faces he does. This is a picture of my personal favorite, the Port Authority Face – meaning the face you get when you ask a question at the Port Authority.

And then there was Abbey Road. This kid can take direction very well. We made him do a number of different poses, from a gargoyle to a frog. The best one, I think, is the one down below. The sphinx. Couldn’t have done it better myself. Actually, I probably couldn’t have even done it at all.

We hung out with some other kids while we were there, too, including two middle-school-aged Brits that we taught how to say “hamburger” and “water” like we do here in the U.S.ofA. But Alistair takes the cake.

 
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Posted by on July 17, 2011 in Trips

 

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‘My bags are packed and I’m ready to go…’

05 Jul

Leavin’ on a jet plane here in a couple days.

I’m packed but I hate every piece of clothing I own and am convinced I’ll forget something. But really, who cares, ’cause I’ll be on vacation, suckaaaaas.

And not just any vacation. THE vacation. LONDON.

I downloaded “London Bridge” by Fergie last week for no other reason then it has the word London in it. ‘Cause it’s DEFINITELY not about the city.

I’d tell you what it is about but…first of all you probably already know and second of all…my parents read this thing.

I really don’t know what all we’re going to do over there and I kind of like it that way.

WHAT? LAURA, THE PLANNER? THE WEIRDO ORGANIZED LIST-MAKER IS WINGING IT?

Yup.

For the most part. I mean, we know kind of what we wanna do – we’ll do a double-decker bus tour and some walking tours.

Fun fact: They offer a “Jack the Ripper Walking Tour” where you get to learn all about a murderer they never found. And couple that with a visit to the Tower of London where they used to torture people? MURDER TOUR OF LONDON. On it.

Not really. But I will see some Harry Potter stuff, dammit.

We will go to a pub. And drink at it. Depending on how many drinks I have, I may try to look for a British boyfriend…

So yeah. I’m so excited, you guys. Like, 18 exclamation point excited. But I don’t believe in excessive exclamation points in my writing so I’ll just leave you with the thought of them.

I’ll definitely share some of every single pic I take on here when I get home, so check back and prepare to be amazed at my bomb-ass photography skillz.

And, maybe I’ll show you a picture of the new British boyfriend.

 
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Posted by on July 5, 2011 in Awesomeness, Trips

 

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