Most of my experiences with buses or trains or subways or monorails or boats or whatever, have all been while I’m out of town on vacation.

In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen asleep on all of the aforementioned modes of transportation, especially that one time when Ash and I went to London and had such bad jet lag we slept for 13 hours.

Speaking of, I took a picture of Ashley asleep on the subway while we were there. Because it’s funny to take pictures of people while they sleep. Because usually they look crazy/weird. And by they, I mean me.

And the people at poopt.tumblr.com.. Because apparently, someone got the idea to start a blog where it’s all just submitted photos of people asleep on public transportation. (Be real, you thought for a second because of the url it was gonna be about poop, didn’t you. Sorry to disappoint.)

I wish I’d thought of that.

And also may have found a new goal – get my picture on that website. But it has to be taken by someone I don’t know. Which means my friends can’t submit a picture of me sleeping on a bus and send it in. Also, I guess that means I need to start taking the bus.

I also cannot take credit for this next gem, which is a beautiful, wonderful compliment (of which are few and far between when it comes to The Roommate and I, but we love each other, I promise. He’s my best friend.) and as I mentioned earlier, a possible future tagline for this here blog.

Anthony: Your writing reminds me of a touching Oprah story.

It’s a toss-up between that or “Like Oprah, only better.”

Part of the reason I think coloring is so fun is because the hard part – the drawing – has already been done for you.

So why I signed up for a painting class is beyond me.

Nah, I did it because I thought it could be fun. It was a cool idea for a Christmas present – i.e. a good way to force someone else to go so I wouldn’t have to do it alone – therefore, guess what Rachel got from me this Christmas?!

You see, there’s this place in town called Sips N Strokes. It’s where you can go and paint something on a canvas and drink wine or beer while you do it! Genius, right? Because even if your painting sucks, you can get drunk and it will look fabulous!

Anyway, when the time came for Little Sister to cash in her Christmas IOU, we picked the night with the hardest painting to do out of the entire month. Not really, but it was a doozy – the Twin Spires and roses. You know, easy stuff!

As an admitted Type-A who is working on it – seriously, I am – I was nervous as hell until about an hour into it. What if I did something wrong? There are no erasers in painting. And the people around me were totally going to judge my work…

Wasn’t so wrong about that last one, but we’ll get to that in a minute.

So we went on a Thursday. And we were the youngest there, I’m pretty sure. Definitely Coug City, at least at our table. Oh, and only one dude. In the whole place. Brave soldier, that one.

We get our paint and our canvas and our brushes and whatnot and before we even get close to starting I get nervous. I tell the seemingly nice lady to my left that I’m Type-A so this is gonna be hard for me. I’m going to want to make it perfect.

“Oh that’s OK,” she said. “I’m really a free spirit so I don’t worry about what it’s going to look like.”

Good for you.

This place is all about helping out us beginners, so you go really slow. Almost painfully, which I love. Because it’s harder to mess up that way. Like, “put a dot here. Then here. Then here. Now connect them.” And you guys, I am so good at a) following directions and b) connect-the-dots.

And soon, I (and everyone else) had something that looked like this.

But not before I shockingly made my dots and connected them with my lines and Mrs. Free Spirit next to me looks at my painting and says “That’s crooked.”

Bitch. Free Spirit My Ass. Please don’t tell me how to paint. You are not Bob Ross. Or the teacher.

Anyways, then it was – make two triangles, paint them white and then paint the sky. Done and done and done.

Oh and add some clouds. Unfortunately I did not use this technique:

Rachel may have, though, because here’s her painting. Look at those happy clouds.

Then we painted with black and my Twin Spires got a little out of control. By that time, however, Free Spirit was already done with that step because she’s better than everyone and did it before the teacher even told us to. And turned her canvas upside down to dry and was taking her break about 10 minutes before the rest of us.

Good for you. You win.

Seriously, upside down? You’re different. We get it.

Not long after this she had a bit of trouble, though I’m not sure with what, because I was trying to ignore her.

Then she says “This is why I never paint architecture.”

OK. FIrst of all, then why are you here? Second of all: “Oh me neither, I usually stick to landscapes and portraits and my feelings. Shut up, lady.”

Anyway, we got a break while our paint dried before we moved on to the foliage portion of the evening. Some people just let their paint dry on its own. Others used the hairdryers on the walls. And others waved them around like crazy people.

Or maybe that picture’s from when the fight broke out…

Just kidding! Leaves and stems! For flowers!

Look at that concentration!

My leaves and stems looked like this:

Neither of ours looked like these:

Don’t overkill, Bob Ross says. Good advice. Free Spirit should have been made aware of that…because she’s going flower crazy over there. Ahead of the class, as usual. Winner!

Too many flowers. And they look like crap.

Our paintings didn’t though.

Here’s mine:

Beautiful!

And Rachel’s:

Amazing!

And, of course, the finished paintings and the look of pure joy on our faces because we didn’t do half bad!

However, think of how much better these could have looked if we’d enlisted the help of everyone’s friend and favorite expert painter, Bob Ross.

Apparently, he was just across the room from us the whole time!

I don’t really watch it anymore, but I did a few seasons ago. The David Cook Season. I voted my ass off that season. And it paid off. ‘Cause my boy won.

One of my favorite performances of his – and one that wasn’t matched in awesomeness in terms of a cover. Until Drew did it this year on X Factor. (Yes, I watched that. Makes no sense, I know.)

DC’s version is below. Love it. Love him. Want to be a singer in my next life.

Lots of fun, lots of rides, lots of standing, dancing, singing, running to get ahead of teenagers who had no idea where they were going and had to be told 30 times to “Stay behind an adult!” Needless to say, I’m still recovering.

That said, I love those kids like they were my own flesh and blood and I loved spending time with them. They’re a great group and I can’t wait to watch them grow and do great things.

I could give you a play-by-play of the whole weekend, but that would be less fun than what I have in mind. So. For your viewing pleasure, I’ll give you a little idea of what that three-day weekend — that felt like 10 days but went by as fast as one day — was like through pictures from the new ballin’ camera and several tweets from the weekend.

Yeah, that’s right, I live-tweeted as often as I could and for those of you who don’t/can’t follow me on Twitter, these tweets pretty much sum it all up.

Without further ado, my MLK weekend in photos and tweets.

Enjoy.

Crazy, busy, fun, a little bit stressful for a few minutes, awesome, unpredictable weekend. That about sums it up.

Sounds like…Me
(717): Gotcha. Well, I’m puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says “love the moment” around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.

(515): you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you were gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny.

(727): I’ve been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn’t think I was that drunk but I guess I am.

(570): That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.

(570): They’re doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.

(478): You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover.

(403): You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn’t lose you if you went pee in the dark.

(870): Don’t make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I’ve been that girl.

(925): I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
(1-925): We just have a real special relationship.

(910): You went to jail last night?!
(1-910): Just a little bit.

(970): I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.

(707): I would’ve been fine if I didn’t do the three shots
(1-707): You did like 8.

(310): Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?

(316):So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
(1-316):That sounds dangerous
(316): Don’t worry……were wearing oven mits.

Sounds like…Anthony
(815): I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.

(616): Don’t be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.

(212): You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.

(360): you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.

(210):Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.

Sounds like…Rachel
(248): Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.

(207): I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup.

(770): the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.

(913): The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
(816): Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from.

(859): She’s the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon.

(314): I think mom knows I’m drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.

(303): I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.

(902): I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there’s no hope for us.

(352):there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.

Sounds like…Sami
(919): The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers.

(207): She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight.

(+27): Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said “Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!”.

(214): How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?

(314): Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!

(412): on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.

Sounds like…Liz
(217): Oh, and she’s that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns.

(508): she vomitted in her champagne, said “fuck it, it’s new years”, and continued drinking.

(281): you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka.

(203): WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS.

(443): I’m in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn’t look so pretty “in these parts”.

(404): I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.

(714): im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.

(727): Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?

(650): lol i’m looking through my photos and there’s this giant section of just dudes wearing murses.

(917): Her stripper name is Geico. I’m not drunk or creative enough to make this up.

(727): Was I really yelling “girls night” at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?

(408): Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
(831): You did a keg stand on the toilet?!

Sounds like…Jennifer
(206): I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.

(720): You’re the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.

(608): not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave.

(503): You’re in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.

(637): I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night.

(925): Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.

(803): Agreed. That’s like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet.

(918): It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it’s a cash bar?

(920): Just found a note from Saturday that says “rainy soft hair”…. Any ideas?

(319):Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn’t know.

Ugh, dammit, Jeopardy.

As many all of you know, the Jeopardy online test was Tuesday night. I was as prepared as I could possibly be, I guess, meaning I didn’t really do anything beforehand any differently from the last time I took it.

Well, I take that back. Sami texted me like, four questions and also gave me a quick German/philosophy lesson during a phone call last week. So I was more prepared than last time.

Still failed pretty miserably though. I think. I could tell you what the questions were, but the Jeopardy test is a lot like a job interview, in that I get really nervous and have no idea what happened as soon as it’s over.

I only know that I got about 15-20 questions out of the 50 and that’s because most of them were pop culture-related or about books or something I already knew and I’d give you an example but I seriously just sat here for two minutes trying to think of one of the questions and the only one I could think of had to do with what show Sofia Vergara is on.

Oh and I also got one right about Led Zeppelin, but it was as time ran out so I’d only typed “Led.” Wonder if they’ll count that.

I do remember they give you 15 seconds for each question and besides the fact that a lot of the questions are harder than the ones that make it on the air, 15 seconds is NOT THAT LONG. I realize you have to be prepared for this once you’re on the show and all, but this test doesn’t account for outside factors, like sleep-deprivation from spending a weekend in Disney chaperoning middle- and high-schoolers.

I have no idea when they notify you if you moved on but I do know that in the case of Jeopardy, no news actually is bad news, because they don’t tell you that you didn’t make it.

Still got my fingers kind of crossed for the slim chance not many people took it or did worse than me so they have to take me. I hyped it up a lot beforehand, too, people were talking about having parties to watch me on the show and I was already spending my prize money. Not really seriously, of course, but OMG how cool would it have been???

I’ll let you know, of course, if I hear any differently, and I still maintain I’d totally rock the personality part of the try-out if I were to get that far. But for now, it’s just time to wait and see.

And there’s always next year’s test. I’m gonna start studying now.

But we’ve been doing great up until now. And unless there’s a foot of snow or one of us has a medical or other type of emergency, we’re going again this weekend, and making up for our slacking.

To be fair: It wasn’t running, but I walked my ass off last Saturday and Sunday in Disney World, which is almost the same thing. Don’t believe me? I’ve got the blisters on my heels to prove it. Or maybe that just proves that my shoes suck…

Regardless, I’m proud of my progress. The first day we did it – and it was the first time since I quit last summer – it was painful. And I doubted myself. And complained. Until Jennifer yelled at me and told me not to say that I couldn’t. (And I’m not even paying her for this motivation!)

I complained a couple more times after that, but it’s also gradually gotten a little easier. And I’m not in as much pain as I thought I’d be.

Those first couple runs were tough. My legs seemed to have no problem with this increased activity, however, my butt really hurt.

That’s never happened when I ran before, but hurting is a good thing after exercise, right? It means you’re doing it right? And if that’s the case, then hopefully keeping this up means the butt-leg I have will soon be no more.

Yeah, I said butt-leg. It’s that thing where it’s really hard to determine where your butt stops and your leg begins. The world was perhaps made aware of it when SNL did that “Mom Jeans” skit. Look it up. It’s about like that. Butt butt butt then.. “I guess that’s leg.” That’s what’s going on here.

But if the weird pain I feel after running in said butt-leg is any indication, the two will soon be individually defined.

I’m the weirdest.

Batman.

Not the Michael Keaton version or the George Clooney version or Val Kilmer. The Christian Bale one.

Dark Knight is, in my opinion, the best superhero movie, ever. Don’t argue.

And, luckily, they’re making another one, The Dark Knight Rises. Seen the trailer? WATCH IT NOW. Don’t argue.

Baller. Right?

Even more baller? The video posted below, where some genius (and I don’t mean that sarcastically) took the audio from that amazeballs preview and synced it with clips from The Lion King. Matches up pretty perfectly.

And I totally think Michael Caine should have done Zazu’s voice.

So for now, please be content with this.

Because I am. I cannot. get. enough. of. this. song.

That is all.