Author Archives: Laura

More smiley things

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There have been a couple of weeks in the past month that have tested my ability to handle my anxiety. Which, looking back, was not that big of a deal, but in the midst of it, I’d never have understood.

Better now – very much so. And the things in this blog may have had a little to do with that.

I’ve written about smiley things before, and now it’s time for some more of them. What’s making me happy these days, in no particular order.

This kid: It’s an old video but I love watching it every time. Good motivation, whether you’re trying to learn to ride a bike or not. You will get the hang of it, I know it!

I love finding stuff like this..some of the things people come up with are amazing.

Insomnia + anxiety is best explained.

I wish I could figure out how to do something like this, it would make me much happier about having Facebook Timeline…

For font snobs like me: Seriously, this is the worst font ever.

The book I’m reading right now is going to be a movie this summer. And it’s about vampires. And I am convinced it will be awesome. Suck it, Twilight.

Instagram rocks my world. Here’s a few of the pics I’ve taken recently and the list for the “photo a day” challenge I’ll be taking part in next month because I’m that addicted, you guys.

Pictures of animals with captions in all caps. AMAZING.

Bein crafty – I’m about to make some awesome stuff in the next few weeks. It’s stuff that doesn’t really require me to be good at crafts! Because I’m not!

Mom and the little sisters and me painted some pottery. I made an ice cream dish. Because if there is one thing I cannot live without, it’s Moose Tracks Ice Cream.

I got this awesome shirt last week.

It’s from BustedTees.com. One of these may or may not be purchased next.

Prints made out of words. My future home might have a wall full of these.

A long overdue screening

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How is it that I’ve gone this long without seeing Scarface in it’s entirety? Not sure. But that ends today.

I’ve seen bits and pieces on TV (heavily-edited) but never watched it from start to finish. Also, it’s really frigging long!

A couple of the parts I have seen are crazy, though, so I figured you might be interested in reading my thoughts as I watch the movie.

If you’re not interested, check back on Thursday, when I do the same thing with an episode of Hoarders. Those are never dull.

Here we go.

Robert Loggia is in this. The guy from Big that plays the piano with Tom Hanks. These are the facts I remember.

They’re bringing all these people over from Cuba.. I love Cuba. Their food, anyway. Yum, Havana Rumba…

Is this real footage or is the camera that shitty? What year was this made?

God, Pacino was good-looking back in the day. Now he looks crazy.

I would have an easier time believing Pacino as Cuban if I’d never seen The Godfather. But even still, I keep wanting him to speak like a Corleone.

The cops just said “Yous guys.” Of course they did.

Tony Montana. Sounds like an Italian name. I will not get over this.

Maybe I’ll learn more about Miami from this movie? Everything else I know about there is from Dexter. And First 48. So if there are a bunch of murders in this too, I’m never going to Miami.

Tony’s friend looks like he should be in the cast of Grease. Red pants are cute though.

Pacino’s playing basketball – I think he looks kind of like Rick Pitino sometimes.

He just said he’s gonna carve someone up to get a Green Card. Shit just got real.

I feel like it’s not safe to be in this tent/a contained area with a big fire. Smoke inhalation much?

Dude just got GOT.

Little Havana Restaurante – Now I really want some Rumba. Get me some sweet potato fries, stat.

VACA FRITA IS ON THE SIGN! My dad, Charles and Uncle Tony have dreams about that stuff! It was $3.95, fyi.

How to look like a badass, Tony Montana style: Look like you’re smelling something while simultaneously giving yourself a little bit of an underbite. And wear a bandanna around your head like a sweatband.

How come he’s so sweaty and his buddy isn’t? They were working in the same place. It’s hot in Miami.

That Will Smith song is horrible – Welcome to Miami, Bienvenidos a Miami. Party in the city where the heat is on…

Is everything in Miami peach or robin’s egg blue?

Fact: Tony has a lot of Hawaiian shirts.

In movies they always carry guns in the back of their pants. Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable? Like, rubbing on your skin? What if you accidentally set it off somehow and shoot through your buttcheek?

I think this guy is supposed to be Cuban but he looks Asian.

Seriously, the hotel is that blue color, the bathroom is that color, the door is that color. Maybe it’s more of a mint green.

In the movies drug deals never work out. The only place they do is on The Wire.

This should be on a PSA for the anti-drug campaigns, not “This is what it does to your body,” but “You’ll probably get shot or worse.”

Another “Be a Badass” tip: When you talk, look like everything stinks.

OH SHIT, CHAINSAW.

She turned the TV up, that’s not gonna cover the sound of the chainsaw.

Tony’s dudes in the car are not paying attention. And ol’ boy is getting sliced up in the bathroom. WTF…………..oh God. Can’t watch.

They just cut his arm off. Holy shit.

He just called him a pendejo. My Spanish is limited, but I know that means asshole.

Machine guns and chainsaws, they don’t play in Miami.

Also, the guy with the chainsaw just cut through a lady’s room. That’s the kind of stuff you should NOT have to worry about in hotels.

And…Tony just shot this dude in front of a bunch of old people. HARDCORE.

Robert Loggia – Not believable as a drug lord. And his accent sucks.

Tony looks better in this blue suit.

“I hope I hah tha prolem sumdey.” That’s my Tony Montana accent.

Michelle Pfeiffer – I can see all your ribs. Also you look like Michael Jackson with blond hair. Eat a cheeseburger.

Oh shit, 80s mustaches.

MP has no boobs.

“Don’t get high on your own supply.” Rules to live by..apparently.

I wonder if she’ll smile at all this whole movie.

Check out those dance moves. Hilarious. And she is still not smiling.

Her name’s Elvira. She’s from Baltimore. I knew that already though because that’s where she has a daughter named Amber and hosts the Miss Teenage Hairspray pageant.

OH there was a smile.

She just told him she hated him and the next thing they show is him telling his friend “Oh yeah, she like me.” She will when you have drugs, I’m guessing….

I wanna go to the beach.

Drinking fruit drinks out of fruit. I’m jealous.

Note: All the girls in Miami only wear bikinis. All day, everyday.

Ew, the inside of the convertible’s all zebra print. No thank you.

I think MP is dressed up for Easter.

They’re car shopping. Yes, buy that one because it doesn’t have a zebra print interior.

She’s brushing her hair when it’s already ridiculously straight. It hasn’t moved yet.

His mom’s house is peach. There were approximately three colors in the 80s. Geez.

That’s his sister? The way she was acting, I thought it was a girlfriend or something!

His mom’s pissed. And she looks Native American. Are there any real Cubans in this movie?

Ugh that car!

So. much. cocaine.

I feel like something bad is about to happen. Is Pacino gonna have to take somebody out during a meal, again? Y’all saw what happened to that cop in Godfather.

Note: If you deal drugs, and you are Cuban, you must wear a pinkie ring.

“Hey lets go to this meeting in the same exact outfit but in different colors. It will look badass.”

Blue suit’s dead, I bet.

There’s a drug dealer in this named Omar! #thewire #thegamestaythegame

Oh shit. Blue suit is dead. They threw him out of a helicopter. Pacino didn’t even flinch.

We are at the halfway point of the movie. It’s not that entertaining, really. Like, if my house was ever on Cribs, you would not see a poster of this movie on my wall.

Does everybody in this movie have a blue suit?

I feel like I just have to get through this, like I did with Big Lebowski, only that one I turned off before it was over. It’s one of those where you feel like you have to see it because everybody has seen it. I gave into the peer pressure.

I think every once in a while, it seems like Pacino’s remembering he has to have a believable accent.

There’s also a lot of orange in this movie. I’m focusing on that instead of the dialogue. Bored.

Oh shit, secret door!

He’s gonna take this dude’s job, stash and his girl.

One-piece bathing suit…way to fight the system, MP. I think it’s the only one in Miami.

Is she wearing a silk shirt over her bathing suit? That doesn’t really absorb water.

Pick Tony, MP. He’s much better looking than Robert Loggia. Even if his accent isn’t legit.

He barely knows this girl and just asked her to marry him. This is The Bachelor! With more cocaine!

Blue suit. Imagine that.

Oh shit, his sister’s at the club. He’s gonna kill somebody.

Bout to be a fight up in this club…

His sister will never be able to date anybody. He’s bout to kill this dude.

She has Diana Ross hair. Aaaaaaaand he slapped her. Wow..what’s worse is she fell on the men’s bathroom floor. That’s meaner than the slap.

Detective Munch tellin’ jokes at this club? Wow. So many people in this movie!

“He loves you, that’s why he did it” No….

She’s 20? WTF. I thought she was 40.

Now there’s a guy in a weird mask dancing…what kind of club is this?

Those napkins are not hiding your machine guns. Not obvious at all.

Oh damn, dude in the mask got shot! He was just doing his thing, trying to entertain the people…

So many Hawaiian shirts..

Also he’s pretty much the Godfather in this movie too.

Oh Robert Loggia, you ’bout to be dead.

“What’s the gun for, Tony?” Uh oh.

Loggia has a necklace with pi on it? Why?

Tony just called him a pig that doesn’t fly straight? I don’t think he understands English.

Shooting someone in the stomach apparently sounds like they’re being shot underwater.

Tony looks rough. Everybody’s dead. Except that one guy who looks like the chef at Chuckee Cheese. He’s the only one not killed. “You wanna job?” Don’t say no, dude.

Everything MP owns in this movie is silk. WTF.

Whoa that’s a lot of money.

80s montage! That wedding dress is horrible.

Also, Tony’s bff is totally gonna do it with Tony’s sister….who still has Diana Ross hair.

“You watched us get married, now come look at my tiger.” He bought a tiger. ‘Cause he could.

MP’s nose is so small, it looks like she’s perpetually snorting something. Oh wait she is.

Manny’s cute. Why can’t Gina go out with him? Don’t be a bitch, Tony.

I just wikipedia’d Manny. He actually is Cuban. And is no longer attractive. And did a show on PBS. And he’s on Breaking Bad.. I gotta start watching that.

They’re like, having a meeting while Tony’s in the tub. “Come talk to me while I take a bath and my wife does cocaine.”

Apparently when you have loads of money, you build a huge bathtub, take a bubble bath in it and threaten people from it. Like Bif in Back to the Future 2.

Silk pantsuit! Who sleeps in that?

Manny’s getting the shaft. Tony’s not letting him do anything. And he’s gonna drop that remote in the bathtub…

Is it carpeted around the tub? Wtf?

So much money they had to stay up all night counting it? #firstworldproblems

Oh, also, everyone else in the room is a cop.

I KNEW THERE WAS A CAMERA IN THE CLOCK!

This is the Godfather with Cubans. And less interesting. They shipped him to another country to keep from going to jail. Seen that before.

We are watching them watch TV….is that Jack Nicholson?

Nope.

Blue velour pillows. Oh, 1983.

Also, blue velour doesn’t go well with red. Walls. Or blood, probably, because you know somebody’s ’bout to get it, probably. These are drug kingpins.

How long is this movie?

There’s another pinkie ring.

“I’ve got a junkie for a wife.” You’re just now noticing this?

Did she just say she has a pig as a friend? Why so many mentions of pigs in this movie? I haven’t seen one yet.

“I’m not stoned, you’re stoned.” Good comeback.

I’m pretty sure that lady at the table next to them just said “Check please.”

“Say goodnight to the bad guy.” I’m gonna do that next time I leave a restaurant. Stand up and yell that to everyone.

Is that a car or a spaceship? Whatever it is, I think Charlie Chaplin was driving it. I also think now Tony’s gonna kill him.

Are they gonna blow up that dude’s car? I don’t even know who it is!

Oh shit. Kids in the car. Tony’s hardcore but he’s not killin’ no kids.

Why did they just speak in Spanish for 2.5? They were in the car with their own guys. Who also speak Spanish.

Tony’s going incognito, apparently. In a station wagon.

And he shot the dude that was gonna set off the bomb. While driving.

Everything in this movie is bright red. Or baby blue. THESE COLORS DON’T MATCH.

His mom hates him. And now he’s going to find Gina. Why? She didn’t do anything.

Oh snap, Manny’s there. And Tony’s pissed.

Damn! Why shoot him?

Everyone’s wearing silk in this movie.

RIP Manny. Tony’s an asshole.

Oh and they just got married. You suck, Tony.

Damn, Gina. Her hair is so bad.

Is that a SWAT team?

Tony’s having a bad day. Not as bad as Gina. Or Manny. Sad face.

Note: Actress who plays Gina is horrible at crying.

Who decorated Tony’s house? Cause it’s ugly.

Wow that’s a lot of coke.

And it’s all over his shirt. He just stuck his whole face in it. That can’t be good.

Ugh. I will never do drugs. One time I snorted powdered sugar. It was disgusting. Felt like I ate a pancake through my nose.

MP is gone. Thank you for your fine contribution to this movie. And by that I mean, I almost didn’t notice you weren’t around.

I miss Manny.

Tony gets really sweaty. I think it’s 1049 degrees in Miami all the time.

Damn they just killed all his dudes…they’re like ninjas! Nobody even heard them coming!

This won’t end well.

Did he just growl at his pile of cocaine?

Yeah, take some more, that will help.

I think Tony’s in love with his sister. Knew it. Since the beginning of the movie. That’s too close. Gross.

She’s naked. And crazy. And shooting him.

Daaaaaaaaamn, they got her with a machine gun.

Who are these guys? The Colombian guy’s people? Cops?

No time to yell for Gina. Gina’s super-dead.

He’s apologizing. It’s a little late, bud.

Ninjas!

I’m watching this after midnight. My neighbors must be wondering what the hell is going on.

I think he thinks Gina isn’t dead.

Drugs, man…

Yeah, it’s like 15 against 1. You’re not gonna win…

There it is – “Say hello to my little fren.”

That gun is not plain. He just took out everybody. Oh nope, wait, more ninjas. And Cheech and Chong, I think. Seriously.

That’s gangster. He just got shot 193 times and he’s still standing there yelling.

Oh, now he’s dead. In his indoor pool, which is blue. And now red. The color scheme continues.

RIP Tony Montana.

Moral of the story, kids? Drugs are bad, mmkay?

Sounds familiar XV

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As if I would kick this important week off with anything else…

Sounds like…Me
(850): Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.

(610): I think she’s perpetually drunk
(484): It’s all she knows.

(484): Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
(732): No, I did. It’s a long story.

(484): they paper machayed me.
(215): i told you … never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.

(520): Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don’t remember this.

(803): happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing.

(571): How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.

(832): He’s just giving off this “someone be a bitch to me” vibe.

(610): My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and “I don’t give a shit”
(1-610): Aren’t they always?

(817): I should know better than to trust a man I’ve seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.

(712): We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me.

(310) I do. There’s a bald-headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I’ve only had 2 beers.

(336) why am i a bad person? you were the one trying to get epode to eat tape.

(678) stop it. you sound like you’re giving birth.

(703) Last night was so much fun. I kept trying to lick everyone.

(401) I just puked in a plastic bag at a red light, go me.

(705) I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projectile vomit. make it happen.

Sounds like…Rachel
(512): I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
(1-512): I don’t know if I should be concerned or impressed.

(215): It’s like the bermuda triangle of cat puke.

(304): you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras.

(850): I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.

(760): I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.

(785): Um…any recollection of peeing in the pantry.

(541): I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue.

(801): Ya he’s alive. Apparently he’s been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.

(585): Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.

(314): I’m in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.

(309): Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.

(925): Ahahhahaha I’m not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday.

(401): remind to leave next time the words “tequila” and “challenge” are shouted.

(316): I just threw up over a bridge. I didn’t even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.

(219) just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest because he didn’t like the other guy’s shirt.

(614) woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 a.m. on a tuesday morning = best commute ever

(914) I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote.

Sounds like…Sami
(573): Mcdonalds hasn’t even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?

(574): It’s 10AM, she’s drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you’ve got to be effing kidding me.

(306): We’re bowling with a frozen turkey in the hallway…ur missing out.

(919): I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.

(949): ‘Well you know, stuff happens’ isn’t really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear.

(517) wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets

(405) grape juice and vodka is not wine

(860) So two questions…why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.

(760) We walked in and the first thing we heard was “OH SHIT! White chicks!” Naturally I made some new male friends.

(505) The last thing I remember was convincing you to hide in the fridge and then taking everything out and you not fitting.

Sounds like…Jennifer
(763): It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language.

(314): I just tried to text you by typing “whoa” into my contacts.

(814): What should we drink tonight, I’m in the mood to be judged.

(406): I defriended her. I just can’t support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.

(507): I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.

(757): I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil.

(910): I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up.

(315): Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?

(707): At one point last night I over heard you say ” I’m gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat” I LOVE YOU.

(914): I’m in charge of his party but you’re a paramedic, we’re both needed.

(208) please don’t make me drink to the titanic soundtrack.

(260): DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER.

Sounds like…Liz
(770): Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.

(303): So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
(312): And maybe a life coach?

(201): He’s cheating on her.
(973): Are you sure it wasn’t her?
(201): I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn’t change her face in the past two months; its her.

(403): I’m going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.

(303): Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw.

(678): You played “let it burn” by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah…That drunk.

(814): I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there’s no need to say “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

(516): Maybe tomorrow I’ll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here’s hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you.

(843): God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.

(724): Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS.

(403): And then you proceeded to sneak behind the bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!

(412): I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness.

(870): Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
(1-870): I’m going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That’s when all the cat pictures come.

(781): And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.

(518) I just sneezed alcohol into a candle and started a fire

(416) bitches at mcdonalds actin like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before.

(443) my #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden.

(415) just learned how to deliver a baby, the things I saw tonight cannot be unseen.

Sounds like…Caitlin
(405): It’s ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren’t saving them for a special occasion.

(570): I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
(484): tell her thanks so much.

(952): Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.

(608): It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes.

(231): Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself.

(908): I’ve decided I’m gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.

(843): I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.

(714): She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.

(802): I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.

(303) it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science. and free alcohol.

(319) nothing says happy birthday jesus like a shot with your loved ones

Sounds like…Anthony
(201): We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.

(864): He looks like he’d be great Lego character.

(704): So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning…

(713): Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.

(203): I pulled some girls weave trying to pull the stop cord on the bus.

(724): I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.

(205): I kind of feel like BP. I’m dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.

(248): Please be advised that because of last year’s “incident” we will no be starting St. Pat’s day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.

(541): You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing… then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it… i’d say it was a successful birthday.

(401): I tried to sit on a barstool last night…it was an open trashcan.

(360) not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, I also got kicked out of denny’s. I didn’t even know that was possible.

(415) I was so drunk I thought Kathy Griffin was funny.

Perfect for my soundtrack. And Grey’s Anatomy’s.

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At the end of last season I gave up on Grey’s Anatomy. I’ll probably go back to it eventually when its all on DVD just to see what happened after I left, but it just got to be too melodramatic for me. I got tired of watching a show where every week I couldn’t stop crying over fictional characters. So now, instead, I watch a show about the zombie apocalypse.

That said, it had/has some killer music. Shonda Rhimes has a good ear for things. And this song, if it hasn’t been on there already, would fit perfectly.

Also I like it a lot.

That shit cray

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Y’all might have heard I have a Twitter.

On that Twitter I follow people, and they follow me.

(My dad is confused already, I bet.)

One person I don’t follow, but debate doing so at least once a month is Kanye West. Why? Because he’s insane.

He tweets a lot so it can get kind of annoying (kind of like when I watch Hoarders and live-Tweet my reactions, amiright?) but the things he says are so off-the-wall most of the time, it’s almost worth it.

And people are doing all kinds of fun stuff with his crazy.

Like the lady who cross-stitches his Tweets and sells them in her etsy shop

And then there is that video of Josh Groban singing them.

Well. The newest one I’ve found takes it to a whole other level. Someone has taken the words of wisdom from Mr. West and put them on screencaps of Saved By The Bell.

It’s called Kanye’d By The Bell and even though they don’t seem to be updating it anymore (or at least they haven’t since November), there are four pages of crazy goodness to enjoy.

Housekeeping

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This might be the most boring post I ever write. Except for maybe the first one I ever wrote on here three years ago. But please don’t stop reading yet.

Posting will be light nonexistent until our regularly scheduled Friday fun, because, well, I’ve got shit to do. And these naps don’t take themselves.

I’ll so make up for it though, because in case you were unaware, a certain blog I know of is celebrating three years of existence next week… and for you, my friends, that means content galore!

Just a tease of what you’ll have to look forward to March 25-31:
- Live-blog of Hoarders returns
- I tell you what I was like at age 3 (with photos! possibly)
- The latest installment of texts that sound like my friends
- Smiley things round 2
- I tell you about that time I didn’t eat for 30 hours
- Live-blog/stream-of-consciousness as I watch Scarface in its entirety (no, I’ve never seen it all the way through before, I’ll pause while you react like I did when I found out several people in my life had not seen Shawshank until recently).

And loads more awesome stuff! So much so that I need to take this week off to prepare. I’ve gotta have time for the magic to work, people…

See you soon!

The first birthday

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As you know, on this blog in 2012, we’ve started honoring some of my family members (when I’m a professional blogger I’ll branch out to friends as well) on their birthdays with a photo and a list I make about them. In March, there are two birthdays that are tough. They are the birthdays of my grandfathers, both of whom have passed away – one in 2008 and one just this past September. I miss them both, all the time.

This is the first birthday of my grandpa deWitt’s since he passed away. He would have been 95. It’s hard for so many reasons (just as it is on my other grandpa’s birthday and other holidays and events when we are especially reminded our loved ones are gone). One thing I always told my grandpa d. was that we’d have a 100th birthday party for him. We’d already started thinking about the cake.

There have been so many things I’ve wanted to tell him since he’s been gone, things to share with him, and when I think of how I’m not able to do that now, it kills me.

So for his birthday, I made a little list about him. Happy birthday, Grandpa

Grandpa d.

- He’d definitely want to see (and probably use) my new camera. The man had like, every camera ever made and he was always taking pictures.

- I miss his voice, but luckily early last year saved it in a book I’m keeping for my family and my kids one day. It’s of him and my grandma, reading “Twas the Night Before Christmas,” in one of those recordable books from Hallmark. We listened to it this Christmas and it made me happy to hear him again.

- I miss making him laugh.

- It’s March Madness, and this is the first year we won’t have his bracket filled out, taped up next to the rest of ours at Mom and Dad’s. He’s always been good at picking his teams.

- I miss hearing him tease grandma.

- I miss hearing stories of his life that were sometimes even news to my mom.

- He’d be so proud of Chuckie and so excited for him for getting into M.I.T.

- I like being told I look like him sometimes. It’s usually when I’m squinting? but I like that I can have that.

Bloggie buddies

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My friends and family members are all ridiculously talented at different things. Crafts, cooking/baking, photography, speaking foreign languages, life…

There are several of them who are awesome at writing. And luckily for me you all of us, they’ve started blogs!

And even though you see ‘em down the side of this page every time you visit, you may not know what they’re about. But I’m going to need you to give them a better look. ‘Cause then you’ll be a fan like me.

You’re welcome.

Somewhere Only We Know - My sister writes this one, in fact, she just started it this week! She’s planning a wedding and moving to Boston with my future brother-in-law this summer so he can be a smart kid at MIT and whatnot. She’s going to write about all that and more, and it will be good. And funny. Because she’s funny. And she’s my sister, so the talent for blogging has to have rubbed off some.

Caitlin pequeña, Mundo grandísimo - My lil’ cousin Caitlin decided to start a blog and she writes about (some of) her adventures in college. She’s spending two months in South Africa this summer, and I can’t wait to read all about it!

Lager Jogger – My good friend Matt writes this blog about the two things the title of it suggests – beer and running. He brews his own beer with a kit in his house and he’s training for a triathlon at the moment. He and his wife (one of my besetst friend and the most frequent commenter on this blog) are my inspiration when it comes to running and also sometimes he shares his home-brews.

Oh Me – One of my bffs, Ashley, is responsible for this blog. She’s a kindergarten teacher and a great lady. And she’s not afraid to write about poop. Reason #1923801820 why I love her.

Life Unscripted - Another friend named Ashley keeps this blog up. She does some really cool link-ups and writes about her life, obviously, as the title suggests, including her cute lil’ nephew and adorable puppy, Max!

Waiting On The Butterflies – Sarah is hilarious. Also a kindergarten teacher and friend of mine, she has no shortage of funny stories.

These people are all my friends/family. Read their blogs. Love them. Bookmark them. You won’t be sorry.

Yogi Bear

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You guys, I went to yoga. Yes, you read that correctly.

I’m as bewildered and confused as you are right now. Also, my wrists hurt.

And my abs. But I think that one’s from all the coughing, which could only mean one thing, IT’S SPRING!

I digress.

I did yoga. It was weird. But the Groupon I bought was for 10 so I will go back because I don’t like to waste money (you’re laughing to yourself right now because you’ve seen my DVD collection. I totally need all of those movies/shows. Especially that SNL: Best of Amy Poehler).

I was forced into getting the Groupon – that offered 10 yoga sessions worth $100 for only $29. BARGAIN – by my friend/co-worker Stephanie. And when I say forced, I mean, she said “You should get it” and I did.

Round 1 was Tuesday.

I will share my story with you in words and drawings – drawn by crayon because I had a new box of ‘em lying around and I am five years old. And I suck at drawing.

OK. So we show up at the place and get to take off our shoes. Plus 1 point for yoga. Barefoot fo’ lyfe! (Living up to the Kentucky stereotype, what?)

We enter the room and find out we are the youngest participants…by at least 32 years. Minus 1 point for yoga.

There are mats and blocks and blankets and peaceful music and it smells nice, so hopefully it’ll be alright. The instructor lady tells us to get into corpse pose.

Yeah, it’s just lying on your back with your eyes closed. If this is yoga, count me in forever.

Unfortunately, I did not pay $29 to lie on the floor in a peaceful room for an hour and a half. I can do that at home. It’s called Sunday afternoon. And it’s free.

So it got tougher.

We had to make ourselves into tables and then try to balance on one knee and one hand. Like Twister, only you’re not drunk.

And then the painful stuff begins. Like when she tells you to flip your hands backwards and put all your weight on them. Because that’s relaxing and helpful.

Oh and then there’s the animal poses..

In case you can’t tell by my DaVinci-esque drawing skills, cat means you arch your back up and cow means you stick your butt up.

And all this time she’s saying words I don’t know about what we’re cleansing and opening and looking for and all I know is there was a lot of mention of pelvic stretches and at one point she told us what we were doing was good for our uterus (uteri? uteruses? uterus?).

I’m pretty sure she also told us we were focusing on our Scherbotzky, which I know is nothing yoga-related, it’s Robin’s last name on How I Met Your Mother. Or maybe she said something else. I may have blacked out in fear that my wrists were going to break.

After a few more complicated things I do not remember the name of and that were supposed to strengthen our core, we did the child’s pose for a little while (sit on your knees with your legs bent back and lean forward so your forehead’s on the ground) and tried to see if we could turn our entire top half of our body around without moving the bottom half. No? That’s not what it was? Felt like it..

We did some standing up stuff too, like that thing you do where you make a number 4 with your legs which I can totally do upside down in the pool, but here it was hit-or-miss.

Then it was back to the floor, where we grabbed a block and found the least comfortable place on our body to put it under and laid there for a while. What that does for you, I don’t know. But I think I now have scoliosis.

After that, we were pretty much done, all that was left was more of the corpse pose, which I am so good at.

All was well and good and relaxing and my chakras were aligned and my mind was blank and the 71-year-old dude next to me fell asleep. Know how I know? Because he was snoring. That or he was a Walker.

You cannot focus on relaxation when someone is making noises that sound like that. So I didn’t. But the first few minutes were nice.

And I’m going back next week, because, well, I paid for it already, and maybe it’ll get better/easier. I hope.

Also, I didn’t fart. So that was good. ‘Cause I was worried.

Until next time….

Lonely, like a shoe with no foot, which I’d prefer to the alternative

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One time when I was driving, I saw a shoe. In the middle of the road. It was weird.

No idea how it got there. Was it thrown out? Did it fall off some redneck who was hanging their foot out the window while driving? (I say redneck, but I’d totally do it if it was more comfortable) Did someone get hit by a car? Is it a sign for something?

Regardless of what it was for or from, it was weird.

It’s not the only time I saw something weird in the road and I’m sure it won’t be the last.

There was another time I saw this dinosaur on the sidewalk.

Why does any of this matter? Because someone has made a blog out of sightings just like these.

It’s called “Sad Stuff On The Street” and it’s great. People submit photos of stuff on the street that seems as ridiculously out of place as that shoe was. And the commentary on it is even better. My favorite is the “Depressed Teddy Bear Series,” because apparently a lot of people leave teddy bears randomly on the street.

Check it out.